GNU C Mane

Backup your work to the cloud by pressing the Dave Button

8 weeks later

B

and when I imitate the sound of a motorcycle passing me on the highway? forget it

I'm on UberAnt ordering a ride from hither to thither

tremendous bit

MyOrb by SphereCo

Never attempt to feed me a food that is “Boostin”

Bumper sticker: COEXIST or ELSE

President iPad baby has installed games on the nuclear football

I’m telling all my coworkers at CERN that I reheated my soup with the particle beam

I am a Time Vampire!

a large hen (chicken)

In January 2026, you looked at: LORGE BORD

Paleozoic deposition of aspartame

The bouncer knows I’m old enough, but he’s asking to check my cuticles

Everyone, pause the movie and come in here. There’s a bottle in the recycling and you put an upturned yogurt cup next to it instead of on top of it

You’re arranging things in the trash wrongly

RIP zip

When God uses his divine Wiimote to grab my head I can only pray that I make the “tpb-bpt-tbp-bpt” noises

Love space and the battlefield, simple as

In the squat rack wearing the shoes and hat with the buckles

Prions: I got u fam

I’m a: Patient Zero
I’m Looking For: Typhoid Mary

Walking my dog across the rubicon

What are you trying to insinuate by saying “I try to order tonic water at the drive thru”?

Telling the CAVA bowl lady that I won’t eat the kale unless they dump some wet food on top of

Ohhh so that’s why they say fuck cancer

Delete “instagram” and focus on “ingestyam”