Sarah Aitchison

Proof they're dickheads, more like

Behave

A couple of days ago the colleague I was working with got a message from his daughter's school. They'd discovered a WhatsApp group where kids were sharing AI generated indecent images of their teachers. I found that pretty unsettling, but this....

The second paragraph of that is all over the shop. If you didn't already know what was going on it would be tricky to figure out who was what 🤣

Oddly enough there is a dry cleaners in my town called Press 2 Dress and their logo is not too dissimilar to this

My friend actually did meet his wife at a bus stop so I'll obviously be sending this to him

I once lit candles to impress a boyfriend at my flat and while we were distracted something on the shelf caught fire. One of us kept a level head, the other didn't. When he asked "What is that?" I screamed, "A FIRE!!!" He replied, "no, I mean what's burning, so we know the safest way to put it out."

I hate it because I like to store my herb jars in alphabetical order and those are the last four

In this scenario no respect whatsoever is due, so I agree that with all due respect he can do one

The Welsh are way ahead of us.

The content is about right but I agree: the metre is far too perfect for a 5yo. It's still an amusing poem, though, if we imagine it was written by a small child. I rather like it.

Headline: Supporting Reform’s ‘racist policy’ does not make voters racist, says Rachel Reeves.

If you support Reform’s policies on immigration, you 100% are a racist and any decent human being should have nothing to do with you. You should be ashamed.
Politicians need to stop pussy-footing about; these policies and opinions are having a devastating impact on a lot of vulnerable people.

If you think YOU'RE an exhausting follow you should try following bloody Sutton United home and away this season 😮‍💨

Nah you're alright. I'm sure I can speak for others too when I say I don't JUST follow you because you're funny as fuck and have some refreshing takes. You're also a human being and like all of us have your own ways of coping when things are a bit shit. Hope everything continues to improve.

Her name is Lucy but she couldn't do the L yet 😆 (sadly I started filming slightly too late and stopped too early as I didn't realise she was going to do that FABULOUS little flourish at the end)

Happy birthday Sara! On my daughter's 2nd birthday, she demanded that I make a random man in a cafe sing happy birthday to her and when I politely declined she sang it to herself, very loudly.

Like when they ruined the best Surrey Senior Cup run we'd had in ages a couple of years back! They hadn't lost all season then IIRC

It's such a beautiful poem

My parents used to enjoy a quick smoke in between courses of a meal. They found it hilarious to call it "having intercourse."

I was about to offer the counterpoint that Blur came from Colchester but then I realised I never did find them especially sexy, just cool. Also, Colchester has the least sexy football team on earth.

It doesn't work cos it doesn't suit who we are as a club. What we've always been good at is a sense of community, togetherness, passion. When we played to those strengths we succeeded way beyond expectations. Now we're trying to build success on a totally different model and...yeah, it's just not us

The resemblance is striking and, I am sure, deliberate

I can't cope with any of this. I have to eat one bite of each different item on my plate, in order, until I have one bite left of everything, then eat those in turn.

You people are all weirdos. Yeah. Definitely you and not me.

To my fellow cishet dudes: when we are quiet about supporting the trans community, the only voices anyone hears are the Charlie Kirks of the world. Don't let accusations of being "performative" or "virtue signaling" shut you up - that's their whole point. Our voices are needed now more than ever.

Seven years? Fuck me

James and the Fairly Large Peach

Ours was "serve God and be cheerful." Look, they'd be lucky to see me do one of those things, let alone both.

That's exactly my thinking!

Oh! Thank you, Clair. I'm not sure I want to read it but I kind of feel compelled to now

This is so gross. I'm not reading it beyond the snippet you can see without giving money to that shitrag, but even in those few words the language used about autism and autistic people tells you all you need to know about how they see us