Ghüs

I don't get that mindset because most of my cooking and takeout-ordering choices are based on having some leftovers

would you smoke every ape's cigar to save one human

I think that underplays the magnitude of the pants shitting.

like it wasn't just a skidmark from a rushed wipe job, or a shart.

that lady straight-up built a log cabin in her drawers.

I saw right wingers freaking out and shitting themselves about Netflix and I assumed there was something new and good for me to watch, but it turns out they're just mad about some show that was canceled 3 years ago

Witnesses Assumed Charlie Kirk Shooter Was Just Ordinary Gunman On School Campus OREM, UT—As law enforcement officials search for a person of interest in the assassination of 31-year-old Turning Point USA co-founder Charlie Kirk, witnesses on the scene at Utah Valley University ad...

Witnesses Assumed Charlie Kirk Shooter Was Just Ordinary Gunman On School Campus

right-wingers immediately farming Charlie Kirk's death for clout:

Fermenting chili peppers in vacuum-sealed bags seems like so much better of an idea that all of my fermenting/pickling shit just seems redunant.

I'll bet if you analyzed soil from Hatch, NM you could figure out its chemical makeup and recreate the terroir in a hydroponic solution. Then, all you need are viable hatch pepper seeds, but I only ever see the peppers sold green when the seeds are undeveloped.

I want a shirt that's also bulletproof like John Wick's suit

can I get this on a shirt, and a shirt that punches people who like the shirt

does stabbing things solve them

you can shove each other up your own asses, pal

on the rooftop, in dead of night

Two chickens in a yard watch as a third chicken, hoisted up inside a large pair of human pants walks past wobbly, with unbent legs. One of the chickens, indignantly, says "look at that guy, wearing human clothing- putting on airs like he thinks he's better than us- above us." The second chicken looks over at the chicken in pants, musing, "maybe he's just trying to see how it feels- to imagine what it's like to live without fear of the axe coming down, to be on the other side of the blade. It must be freeing." Meanwhile, the chicken in the human pants, still tottering around, sings to himself "I'm Mr. Big Pants! I'm Mr. Big Pants. I got a human dick and not a cloaca."

chicken in pants

i respect meth heads who steal copper piping from elementary schools more than i respect military veterans at this point

microwave a corndog for too long and you'll experience a food mummy for yourself

homer simpson stands in the living room of the simpsons house, t-posing, his eyes vacant and unfocused, bart stands opposite him. homer says to bart, "son it is time. for cruelty. I will use my hands." Bart replies "don't. cow man." Homer looks stunned in a close up. Back to the wide, Homer's head is now on the body of a cow. Homer says "if violence is man's nature, then to reject violence, does one stop being a human? If it is, then truly man is a lowly beast. Either way, I am free."

son it is time for cruelty

I think I ate liver once as a kid and liked it, but I think it was beef liver, was quite a while ago. I later lived with my grandma who had a lhasa apso that she fed chicken livers, cooked in the microwave. the memory of the smell of that has kinda put me off the idea of eating them

izakayas often have skewers of chicken heart and liver on the menu

there's no other meat substitute with the confidence of soy chorizo. the others are always like "tofacon, the tofu that oinks", but soy chorizo proudly proclaims, right there on the fucking package en espanol, "I'M CHORIZO!"

if trip hop was born in Dover instead of Bristol, do you think they'd have called it Dover Soul

remember the lady that made chili for her new neighbors

The one I kept is either a bubblegum 7-pot, or a golden reaper, but the fruit resembled neither of these because the seed seller didn't isolate their seed plants. The peppers resemble tiny pumpkins once fully ripened, and are probably slightly hotter than a habanero.

Chili pepper growing season has officially begun. I had 3 survivors from over the winter, kept 1. Into my remaining hydroponic buckets will go these plants, grown indoors and hardened off outside in shade:
2 White Ghost
3 Sugar Rush Peach
2 Peach Ghost

if he was ever even slightly smart, he's also ideologically captured by the target audience of the most successful thing he's ever been a part of, which also skews super dumb.

I used to be a fire dancer so I would probably just get "did I just set myself on fire?" flashbacks if I smelled burnt hair.

one time when I was a kid, my dad was being a jerk and a seagull shat on him with such perfect aim that it landed on the cherry of the lit cigarette he was holding in his mouth and some also got on his face

I will read it only on the condition that the horse does something cool