shmoooool

RIP Jane Goodall 🫡

KOKO THE GORILLA: Koko birkin bag. Practical Koko possession bag
RESEARCHER: No, Koko. You can’t have a Birkin bag.
KOKO: Good Birkin good Koko give beautiful Koko deserve gorilla
RESEARCHER: Koko, we simply can’t afford a Birkin bag. It is an unjustifiable expense.
KOKO: jealousy professor

erm being a father is a lifelong job, buddy

there's an inherent violence in the 🤗 emoji, people who use it give me the ick and, frankly, should not show their faces in public!!

sorry just had my morning coffee i didn't mean it 🤗

yes 💔

Flat Worms

Flat Worms https://www.wikiart.org/en/m-c-escher/flat-worms

fool caught trying to be a vibe reading under a tree on a sunny day

u r not a vibe bro 🫵😂

rum and coke? more like cum and stroke

when i grow up, i hope i can be joe biden 🥺

Clown, Horse, Salamandra

Clown, Horse, Salamandra https://www.wikiart.org/en/amadeo-de-souza-cardoso/clown-horse-salamandra-1912

woke up with a raging knot in my back- all i'm saying is i get where luigi was coming from

Told a guy at the urinal that I liked his stream tone and he thanked me in a way that made it obvious it’s been too long since he’s heard a compliment. We need to take better care of our boys.

SIKE we're watching this

might have to schedule a Cuckoo viewing in the 'cord 🤔

one still from each of your letterboxd top 4

it took incredible discipline to pick a still other than The Shot for Fallen Angels 😮‍💨
#filmsky #letterboxd

microdosing being 30 years old by pulling a back muscle in my sleep at age 25

yeah i'll show you a big wee

takes too long to pay off 🥱 i'll take that dagger +4 mult with pleasure

ngl i take great pleasure in feeding wee joker to the sacrificial dagger

can't stand that little twerp.

*opening the microwave just as the countdown ends triggering a perfect parry sound effect*

big fan of this guy

woke up with the Itch to Pet a Cat i get leading up to visiting for the holidays,
got home and one of the neighbor cats finally let me pet them

seems like a good omen :)

GUYS, GUYS, when you're finished with the floaty bits in pho DON'T throw away the broth- take a big sip and get ready to have your MIND BLOWN

Sunflower

Sunflower, 1909
https://botfrens.com/collections/88/contents/24864

i should've committed to facial hair sooner im stroking my chin crazy-style

operator: 911, please state the nature of your emergency
me: hold on i'm on the phone
operator: i know
me: oh. right. so. hiker isn't the strongest balatro joker, but it is my favorite. even if you sell it, it's already chipped up your deck like crazy
operator: totally agree
me: hey i'm on the phone

soothing my mind out of a panic attack by imagining a twangy southern voice pronouncing "tsundere" and "yandere"

[bad jerry seinfeld impression] what's the deal with all these resist lib cross-stitch projects on my discover feed?