smol fries

As our dogs default parent, I’m getting the shit beat outta me in bed cus Oogi is ready to get up, and Zach gets up and leaves WITHOUT THEM??? In disbelief I texted him and I swear that man RAN back up the stairs trying to get there to get them before I could get up hahaha

The last few days have been such hell I didn’t even realize my birthday is tomorrow 🙃

My grandma is in the hospital on her 90th birthday and while I was taking that very fun call my dog ate all of my nachos

Nothing that actually matters to me matters to anyone else so I’m just gonna stop talkin. Love you.

Gyazo

i've been laughing at this for like ten minutes

I miss having a laptop I wanna play video games under a blanket in bed

"you just weren't paying attention" really fucked me up

Everything is crab is so cute and funnnn I am obsessed 🥹

Marge Simpson on crack 😂

Follow me on Twitch to watch my streams live!

twitch.tv/phoefi

Hahaha I love this!

I cry myself to sleep basically daily lol

"that french lady seemed kinda weird but you all wanted to fuck her so i didn't wanna say anything"

i need john locke to take my vape away

The stretch of miller road from the mall to woodcroft is so bittersweet. Some of my best and worst memories with people who are dead or dying and why am I listening to the fray and crying staring at some buildings and streets

Heh I’m very sad all the time and nothing seems to fix it

I don’t know what I did wrong but I wish I knew how to fix it

I’d only ever done some swishers when I was like 16 and didn’t even smoke lmao

I rolled a not beautiful but mostly smokable backwoods tonight on my fourth try

I really need to return like 2 years worth of bottles before I can really get much done and it feels basically impossible. Moving a literal mountain.

I’m sorry you’re going through that 💖

The context of my mom texting me this a few days ago makes it even funnier (that’s my birthday)

I’ve been laughing about this all day

I’m always like I would never wanna do separate bedrooms with my husband then he busts in and turns the lights off while I’m using them, jerks the blanket half off my body and puts earbuds in to stare at his phone and I’m like actually okay I can see why people consider this lol

I was so nervous about roadtripping to another state cus that’s usually uh not my vibe to begin with AND we didn’t have our own car which is very not my vibe but I actually had the best time with Kyle and Birdie. Not a single stinky vibe from anybody the whole time.

I got one million photos of Kyle and birdie but not a single one of Zachary and I 🥲

I love Zachary so much

Sydney slept in bed with the girls and Kyle slept on the couch with my boi 🥹 they’re the best aunt and uncles to my babies

“I need to get a BBL for roadtrips”

“My advil is bleeding”
“This is my name in Morse code”

No, nobody has to wear pants over here