kimda

Picture of a crowd going wild with enthusiasm

People over 40 watching birds at the bird feeder

Photo of a broom that lies riderless in the road

Rider down, I repeat rider down

A small Nelly Furtado wearing a tan and black catsuit squatting on the porch of a yellow and black bird house.

proof nelly furtado really is like a bird: thread

AUTHORITIES SAY THE CHICAGO POPE CAN BE RECOGNIZED BY HIS HIGH-TOP SNEAKERS AND INCREDIBLY FOUL MOUTH.

Going to start a substack devoted entirely to just complaining about how much barn style sliding doors on hotel room bathrooms have ruined the experience of traveling

Cloture sounds like it should mean the sex organ on an owl or something

Philly would love to see you again 🥹

5/16 agoura hills - the canyon 5/17 henderson nv - sunset station 6/20 san juan capistrano - coach house 6/22 fontana - stage red

We finally have some west coast shows and if you come out you'll probably be like wow these guys are old but they look like they're still having a pretty good time. Tickets here eve6.com/shows

Pretty cool that a band can post a link to their stuff on here and since the site isn't owned by the number one most insecure billionaire people actually see it

"closing time" by @eve6.bsky.social was a popular song in the 1900s about the nightly shutdown of the internet on school nights. not many people know this

Stop dumping shit on dave matthews about that one incident that happened years ago

Some singers' speaking voices sound completely different than their singing voices which is fine but a thing I appreciate about the everclear guy is there's zero daylight between the two. He can be talking about where to go for lunch and it's like bro are you singing one of your b sides rn

Shoutout to the elderly fella who winked and gave me finger guns as I walked in to get a mammogram

well, actually, schrödinger is the name of the doctor not the meownster.

imagine not being able to use your imagination.

wrong

At my funeral there’ll be a 37 minute montage of me trying to find something to watch on Netflix

(barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen after all the science on poison detection has been deleted by the government)
I actually love cooking your meals, don’t come in here.

Sex AND candy? IN THIS ECONOMY?!

A club where you sit in silence and untangle necklaces

ME: *rolls down window* good morning, beautiful

OFFICER: license and registration, please.

Booing the nurse while she checks my vitals.

I don't understand hugs. You can just affectionately squeeze the breath out of me, and I'm supposed to pretend it isn't combat? What's in between me and kicking your ass? Nothing, you are so close to my face why are you so close to my face

Baby Billy’s Backyard Bonkers

Most assuredly my last words

A wooden sign that reads “together” is leaned up against a garbage can outside

Might be trouble over at the neighbors

Urinal cake? Nah, that’s a pisscuit

BIG NEWS: I used that button I saved eight years ago

Embracing nihilistic optimism. Maybe things will not matter in a better way tomorrow