miss fugazi

really need a grapefruit jarritos somebody please anybody please

great read

getting a really big hammer to smack the ground with so i can level my backyard

sending you lead waves with my mind through your phone

I have to quit my job so I can do whatever the fuck it is I do full time

You couldnt get 100% yes on a poll asking people if they need to breathe oxygen to live. Theres at least one crank youre gonna get who thinks they can breathe sunlight or whatever.

let me be a journalist/opinion columnist. i'd be great at it.
"top ten ice cream flavors" boom. cherry garcia x10.
"check out this cool bug i found" easy clickbait.
"i sat down with a nazi and now i'm being charged with assault & battery" here's my GoFundMe to help pay for bail and attorneys.

need her

It's so disgusting how a small handful of people can dispose of all humanity's resources to build this stupid shit that sucks

replacing the tendons in my body with springs so i can be bouncier

Gretchen Felker-Martin @scumbelievable.bsky.social needs to be reinstated immediately. Her ban is either a mistake or it’s wildly transphobic and unfair. Bluesky get it together

ugh eating all that mongolian beef and rice has me worn the heck out

guess i’ll check out the smoke shop with the ricky morty mural on the side today

asking the carpet delivery guys to not walk around barefoot i just broke my bowl

horseshoe crab parking only

never ask a girl where she got that horseshoe crab

in the lab cooking up an even more delicious analgesic than advil they’re gonna give me the nobel

Every time I hear about Texas Republicans, I think of this video.

just saw a vinfast vf8 WHATEVER THAT IS

clinically speaking i’m pretty tall

DISCOUNT CANNABIS La Cannaisseur BIKINI COFFEE MEXICAN FOOD CHINESE FOOD

Long ago the 4 nations lived in perfect harmony

im a genius and im never going to die

shells, stand up!

i thought they were horses

amy sedaris's jerri blank's goofy smile from hit TV show Strangers With Candy (1999)

if you yell at me on line this is who you are telling at