Maggie Parkhill

in the pit

This entire weekend

I love you, Dad ❤️

Why am I watching an empty stadium and Dan Plesac spit out his gum? The Apple TV MLB games have terrible production quality, and it’s not just because they’re filmed on an iPhone.

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AND they create false scarcity:

Text: Louis Vuitton is releasing an $18,000 lobster-shaped bag. A picture of the bag, which is just as silly-looking as it sounds.

Jennifer Tilly holds a purse on Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. Text: Louis Vuitton Boat Purse, $33,000

Nothing tops Hermes in terms of price but this is a whole genre of purse.

Vladdy to the umps: Disagree to agree! #bluejays

you literally called Trump the second coming of Hitler

My cat Rupert is like, RIGHT in my face. We’re on my bed, and morning light comes in through the window behind him.

Who needs an alarm clock?

“I SAW GOODY PROCTOR BROWSING ON ETSY!!!!!”

Who stopped the UN escalator? Likely Trump's videographer, says UN The United Nations believes it has solved the mystery of why an escalator abruptly stopped shortly after U.S. President Donald Trump stepped onto it on Tuesday - his videographer may have accidentally triggered a safety mechanism.

His favourite pastime: pointing fingers.

Eyes up here, Canadians!

Kyle Rittenhouse (BLEGH) walks on stage surrounded by pyrotechnics in front of an adoring crowd.

The right: It’s DISGUSTING to celebrate political violence.
Also the right:

Mike Johnson said this kind of rhetoric is highly inflammatory and incites people.

Weird, because Netanyahu doesn’t seem to like criticism either.

“I want to turn this bus around… except I drove the bus here, and I’m not driving the bus anymore, and the bus is on fire.”

He had to quote tweet it 😂 Couldn’t just reply!

And yet they didn’t prevent Michael Rapaport from entering the country…

*Taylor Swift’s fiancé 😔

Very interesting that the hate crime bill was not provided to journalists in lockup ahead of time.

Please stop making me defend white male comedians! Please!!!

so many dead canaries and we just keep on mining

Nancy Mace tweet: Time to bring back the death penalty superimposed on an image of Mr. Burns tenting his fingers as he talks to a crowd

Smithers whispers in Mr. Burns's ear

Mr. Burns pushes Smithers away

Nancy Mace tweet: We truly belive if Tyler Robinson had ever sat down across from Charlie, the great debater, the man of faith and grace he was Tyler wouldn't have pulled the trigger superimposed on an image of a chastened Mr. Burns speaking to the crowd about a different subject

I can’t quite put it into words yet, but something is happening, a kind of global singularity—a fusion of tech/media/news/government/employment which allows the global elite to push single agendas: “You WILL care about Charlie Kirk. You will NOT care about Palestine. You WILL fear cancel culture.”

According to the very circles he ran around in, it’s “too soon” to talk about politics, so I’m not sure why they’re already blaming the left. Thoughts and prayers only, right?

Current sex pest president now actively colluding to ensure ex-governor sex pest, endorsed by ex-president sex pest, wins by threatening to deport the only person in this equation who isn’t a sex pest

It’s not getting as much attention but please remember Jerry Seinfeld also sucks.

oh no they yelled at him in a restaurant? that sort of vile attack has only happened to everyone who has ever worked in a restaurant

Calling them might not work, but not calling them DEFINITELY won’t work. Please try, and let them really have it!

Jesse Waters on Fox News. Headline: Zohran the Destroyer Wrecks Dem Party

Arrested Development meme, slightly adjusted: “Good for him.”

ex-president sex pest endorses ex-governor sex pest in effort to fight current president sex pest