Dan Hedges

OMG this is the best

I hope his resume is up to date

I feel bad for the @washingtonpost.com for having to explain why this is actually a good and normal thing for a president to say about their murdered columnist except no I don't.

‘No! Not Larry Summers!’ Wails Devastated Nation WASHINGTON—Responding to recent revelations suggesting the prominent economist was a close associate of the late child sex trafficker Jeffrey Epstein, a devastated nation reportedly joined together to...

‘No! Not Larry Summers!’ Wails Devastated Nation

What possible interest would the US government have in keeping Epstein’s clients secret? Oh… Quote Jack Posobiec @JackPosobiec · Dec 30, 2021 Are you paying attention yet? The DOJ and Ghislaine Maxwell's lawyers have made a deal that her “little black book” of contacts will never be made public https://thetimes.co.uk/article/ghislaine-maxwells-little-black-book-to-remain-secret-in-court-deal-dvjzzw85m 8:23 AM · Dec 30, 2021 Replying to @JDVance No file chosen JD Vance @JDVance · Dec 30, 2021 If you’re a journalist and you’re not asking questions about this case you should be ashamed of yourself. What purpose do you even serve? I’m sure there’s a middle class teenager somewhere who could use some harassing right now but maybe try to do your job once in a while.

JD Vance in 2021: "What possible interest would the US government have in keeping Epstein’s clients secret? Oh…"

We all have that one friend in our lives who, through thick and thin, was always there for us and gave us the best girlfriends.

Trump Wishes We Had More Immigrants From Norway. Turns Out We Once Did Back in the 19th century, Norwegians began coming to the United States in droves. And they were among the poorest of the poor.

Hah! www.npr.org/sections/goa...

She's from Norway? Didn't Trump have a thing about letting in immigrants specifically from Norway?

Vaxxed?

How? He's dead.

horses are just sexy donkeys

DO NOT REPEAT THIS INSIGHT

IYKYK

This is brilliant

He understands. It is his supporters who do not.

What if Democrats are pussies?

I was there for the first time this summer, and it was a glorious experience that my mind still cannot process.

Yes, he is governing like there will never be another election, which was something he promised during the campaign, and also he has been actively working towards it.

I blame the wheel

Happy Four Seasons Total Landscaping Day to all who celebrate!

So now we need to throw a hot dog and a taco at a cop to see if we can get legal precedent for the ‘what is a sandwich’ question

Not all gyros wear capes.

This this so much this!

I once saw a low-budget production of Wallace Shawn's "The Fever" and I enjoyed it. I also enjoyed the Princess Bride.

I also don't think anyone should troll an 18yo for ignorance about Wallace Shawn.

www.goodreads.com/book/show/24...

I've heard some of their players are foreign too

A negroni, a red cocktail in a glass, with ice cubes that look like floating eyeballs

Eyeball cocktails are a Halloween tradition in this house

A candlelit jack-o'-lantern carved to look like Mario from the video games

Happy Halloween!

Moar please

Pizzas made to look like skulls with cheese for the bones, pepperoni and olive eyes, nose and teeth made of green pepper.

Day of the Dead mini pizzas

Did they publish that in 2017, or did they publish it too late?

It's hard for non-comedians to understand what comedy is.