Swiped Out

Great. Now my earworm has woken up.

For someone who doesn't believe in reincarnation, I spend far too much time happily planning how much better I'm going to do it when I get my second go at being in my 20s.

A day will come when cooking instruction writers will accept that none of us know the wattage of our microwaves, or preheat our ovens.

But it is not this day.

I just wrap my head around why I'd set an alarm to wake me from a nice sleep only to lay in a half-sleep funk which is neither as good as being awake nor as good as being asleep.

Oh, I love that! And I bet they do too.

I took my other half to a terrarium making workshop - it was great!

And I’m quietly impressed with the terrarium she put together.

Mystery date today! Well, it’s not really a mystery for me as I booked it, but she doesn’t know where we’re going.

I hope this turns out at least half as well as I think it will…

I will sign that petition as many times as legally able to.

a man in a black suit is sitting in a gold and red chair ALT: a man in a black suit is sitting in a gold and red chair

It's my boy's 19th birthday tomorrow and he was supposed to be having the boys over for a poker night, but every single one of them has pulled out. So instead he's coming over and we're going to drink beer and watch Taskmaster for the evening.

If you've got specific questions let me know and I'll ask her - and I can probably get her to ask Dannii specifically if you want. 😀

I'm not even getting commission, sadly...

www.qvcuk.com/fashion/dann...

I appreciate I'm not a woman, but my other half works for QVC and made me watch two hours of Dannii Minogue's new line, and the petite jeans on there look pretty amazing.

Loads of give, properly petite sizing (apparently that's different to just short legs) and looked good to my untrained eyes.

By the way, the fact that all three of these shows are on at the same time makes this my favourite time of the year.

What show would you rather be on out of:

- Strictly Come Dancing
- Taskmaster
- The Traitors

#Strictly #Taskmaster #TheTraitors

I was confused when she asked me to stay close to him for a while - but as soon as she explained I was all in.

Felt like the weirdest car chase - kept seeing him trying to change his songs, and he apparently cleared his queue three times.

Delicious.

Shoutout to my daughter, who realised on a car journey that she’d accidentally connected to the Spotify jam of the BMW in front of us, and proceeded to queue up Witch Doctor by Cartoons on repeat for 15 miles.

And yes, I stayed close to him so he couldn’t change it.

Sorry not sorry, James.

Thankfully they stay pretty quiet most of the time!

Then just stay asleep for an extra five minutes, no?!

a man with a beard is wearing a black suit and tie ALT: a man with a beard is wearing a black suit and tie

How is Joe Wilkinson 50?! #TheTraitors

Mine are Canadian eye geese, so are actually pretty nice and polite overall.

Snooze buttons are pointless.

Just set the alarm for when you need to get up and get up then.

Genuinely thought this was just a picture of those little floating things I sometimes see in my eyes.

Too much to remember! It's started relationships, given me holidays, introduced me to many of my closest friends, got me jobs, on telly, given me support when I've needed it the most, helped me with gifts for my kids, helped get me through lockdown, taught me so much, and generally been a laugh.

Yeah, that's an aggressive start time even if the music is lovely.

Once a year you should be allowed to look around your neighbour's house.

Just, you know, to see what it's like, how they've arranged things differently to you, and what the hell they've put next to your wall that's so bloody loud ALL THE TIME.

The day I realised that nobody cares how many unread emails I have, and that it won't change a single thing in my world, THAT was a freeing day.

a woman in a black hood holds her finger to her lips in front of bbc ALT: a woman in a black hood holds her finger to her lips in front of bbc

Has anyone actually seen Alan Carr and Linda in the same room at the same time…?

#TheTraitors

I'm less than two weeks from soft launching my business and realised today that I need to make a simple but fundamental change to over 2000 activities, and all of the algorithms that they feed.

Damnit.

Cheers! Alright to DM you with some details?

Ha! That test has been done a million times over and the milk-first approach ALWAYS comes out as correct.

And no, I haven't got sources to hand at this very moment...

(And thanks! It'll be scary putting something out there and seeing if people find it useful! Exciting, though.)