mer

Pic my dad sent me from Oklahoma City today. Entire line-up of Chet Holmgrens, heavy on the defense, smoothest of the passes, easiest ankles to break.

CAUTION in all caps on a sign with a hand-drawn illo of a wasp, attached to a piece of wood carefully positioned inside an orange caution cone.

Portland... such a hard-scrabble hellscape there's hardly time to look out for wasps and put up signs so everybody can get along... let alone hand draw the wasp amid all the chaos...

to avoid confusion I have made a little table of Mitford siblings

The guy I’ve been kind of seeing is finally back in town so we can finally go see One Battle After Another tomorrow. I’m glad I waited but christ I AM READY.

(The Moody Arena is so ridiculously overpriced all the time that it literally does make way more sense to travel away from Austin to see a major show)

Gonna go to the Tulsa show and stay at my mom’s. She can pull out the ol “why do you smell like cigarettes??” I can ruin her bathroom with Manic Panic.

this is art

DON’T LOOK AT US!!!!! DO NOT PERCEIVE MY BOY JOSHY ALLEN!!!!!!!

Doing too well at fantasy and now the whole league is paying too much attention to my team. This is a different form of hell.

Overheard at a bar on Thursday, two seemingly straight guys about my age: “And Hillary Duff! She’s the only one that turned out normal!”

Morning with the Daddies

Egg Bowl is gonna be extra insane this year lmao

an expensive curse but at least we figured it out

oh yeah she released those like the day after i got the smudge sticks and the shine serum, i may seriously buy them in the next month or so

The only make-up I’m wearing is a KJH (another brand I’m glad Instagram dragged me into) smudge stick in soft pink on my lips and cheeks

Rare photo on main to say I lost my mind a few weeks ago and bought pretty much all of Dieux’s skincare products except the cleansers (already have ones I like) and my 40-ish skin has never looked better.

Fast-forward a couple years, and you booked a role as Tracy Morgan’s wife on 30 Rock. How did that happen? Tina Fey offered that role to me; I didn’t have to audition. I turned it down at first because Tracy’s wife had no lines. They fully fleshed it out and called me back, and I said “yeah,” and they flew me out from L.A. Tina and Alec Baldwin were always so wonderful to me. When they picked me up, I had just had ten White Castle cheeseburgers and was really bloated and self-conscious. The first scene was supposed to be me in lingerie during our honeymoon — I called wardrobe, and they really worked with me. Tracy Morgan scared the crap out of me because I had never met with him before. When I walked in, the first thing he said to me was, “I like you. I’m going to get you pregnant.” I was like, I thought that was just a line — you’re serious! He was very flirtatious and fun and weird. We both lived in the Trump building on 60th, and he had a shark tank in his apartment that he was not supposed to have — the guy who played Grizz had given it to him as a gift. One day, the lightbulb exploded, water came down, and all of a sudden it was like Mount Vesuvius in my apartment. I grabbed my wigs, I grabbed some clothes, and I grabbed my son, Jeffrey, all in that order.

Incredible new details about Tracy Morgan's shark tank in this article www.vulture.com/article/sher...

but what’s the week after that ::the sound of klaxons, deep fryers go off::

People have pointed out that Erica Kirk has three degrees like how does she not see she has BENEFITTED from FEMINISM and I’d like to point out her BA is from ASU and her JD and PhD are from Liberty so I think she’s probably a master at holding contradictory beliefs and never having the twain meet.

libs of tiktok melting down that GWAR did a comic bit about killing trump, which they've done with every president for years, as well as a broad range of public figures

this is the funniest possible way to describe GWAR

My man David Byrne released a new album this month

dril racism dial tweet

LEFT ON READ FOR BEING TOO HILARIOUS, I SEE, FATHER.

Can’t ever get too mad when someone doesn’t respond to my texts because my own father won’t even respond to my moment of perfect observational humor

Michele Tafoya @Michele Tafoya Follow Good morning. I went to church today for the first time in a couple of months. I was sad that the name of Charlie Kirk was not mentioned a single time. Other tragedies were mentioned. But at this particular Catholic church, nothing about Charlie. What were they afraid of? 3:42 PM Sep 14, 2025 3.2M Views

Glad Yuengling @Glad Yuengling Follow 19 My church didn't mention Charlie Kirk or even "pray for our country". They did ask me for more money. I'm devastated. 6:01 PM Sep 14, 2025 243.4K Views

I, Hypocrite @lporiginalg Follow Church was packed this morning. The pastor delivered a canned sermon that could have been written last year. My disappointment is immeasurable, and my day is ruined. 6:45 PM Sep 14, 2025491.8K Views

Online trads going to church for the first time and finding out it's not an IRL version of their personal Based internet club always cracks me up

this is, hands down, the best video I've seen on men's influencer content and it's not close either

Me, drunk, trying to remember who Joey Chestnut is