Discourse Elysium

*gulp* so is there a mr. Direction?
The female magician I hired for my adult birthday party that no one else showed up to: did you just swallow the card?

Ellie Goulding voice:
So love me labubu
L-l-love me labubu
Touch me labubu
T-t-touch me labubu
24 karat gooooold

Incredible

Oh word?

Is some snide and flippant joke about going swimming in the river, you deserve things that I cannot state directly. You deserve God’s mercy

Including the FAA, installing puppet figures in key roles of government with zero experience, and your response when asked if you would visit the site in which it happened, a totally normal presidential duty for any incident, let alone one that happened IN THE CITY YOU NOW LIVE IN

If you’re the president of the United States, and 60+ innocent people just died in one of the worst airline accidents in decades, an incident which btw is fully up for discussion about your culpability in the matter because you spent the last 2 weeks gutting federal programs

I know this is obviously preaching to the choir over here but it really cannot be overstated how much Trumps response to the airline crash is just. So evil.

That’s usually totally fine as long as you have a paddle

This is utterly insane if you’re being sincere

Yes

Where are we reporting boys

Ever since Trump got sworn in gas pumps have been slower

Asunder has got to be one of the top worst ways to be torn

Accidentally buying caster oil instead of castor but it’s cool cuz now my staff is shiny af

I’m 🎶 dreaming 🎵 of a white Jesus

Installing this in the center

When I finally buy a game that's been on my Steam wishlist for five years because it's 90% off

big glass of water i brought to Arrakis immediately spilling everywhere when the ornithopter turns on

You’re telling me a squash nutted this butter?

What a year it’s been for Green™️

Anecdotal evidence, dismissed

I’m crying

They hate to see NJ winning don’t they folks