Nick Pelling

To be fair, Reform has managed to give the government lots of practical ideas about how to behave like populist idiots. Which is nice.

Since the World Farting Championship got unexpectedly cancelled, I've been venting all week.

All the while we're out of Europe, the economics don't add up, not even close. And so all that Brexit apologists of every stripe can do is find ways to make things marginally less terrible, while also raising taxes.

Heh, you rock

Handy phrase for performance reviews: "as effective as a T-Rex trying to masturbate."

Failed ejaculation is a non-issue.

When it came to cleaning our kitchen floor, I must admit he had it licked.

New PornHub category dropping.

I suspect "blueberry" and "blubbery" have got merged into a single composite thing in its net. It may have difficulty telling them apart.

We all had to grin and bear it.

I think you've dug yourself into a hole there.

The treasurer of my S&M startup retired, so we had a whiparound.

I've been voted off the board of my AI spanking startup, which smacks of a coup.

Me: *facepalms so hard I almost knock myself out*

That would be an Archie op. Derek's flown the coop.

I try! Is there a top secret answer?

Next time try low-bite starters.

I've got cheap diner sore arse.

You, rock

Yeah, GPT-37 has just come out and people are already pointing out how rubbish it is, but this Sam Altman brain-in-a-jar insists that GPT-38 will fix all the problems.

Pic of Epstein and Trump. Select all the squares with A Pedophile If there are none, click skip

#FCKTRMP

Enough of your inept Herod act, I'll be damned.

I'm going to kick your ass, ichthyosaur fanboy.

I call a spade a spade, me.

Oh, I thought you'd dig that?

I once met a Mexican palaeontologist called Tijuana Don.

Pirates never actually buried their treasure, but created this rumor so the authorities would spend more time digging and less time hunting them down.

Genius.

Next on Channel 5, "Pills and Thrills" takes us into the high-pressure world of regional pharmaceutical reps.

This week: Colin’s resentment boils over when Mike gets alloys for his Focus plus a branded travel mug.

Netanyahu continues to play Trump like the world's stupidest fiddle.

It would quickly reveal how many houses are themselves not level.