brainplan

Dallas Cowboys owner Jerry Jones, looking like a bad wax figure of Dallas Cowboys owner Jerry Jones, who has inexplicably ended up in Rainbow Brite’s Rainbow Land a speech balloon coming from his mouth says “it’s Whiskey Fridays with Tony Dokoupil”

TGIWFWTD

screenshot from the Seinfeld episode where George gets fired for having sex with the cleaning lady on his desk at work, closed captioning says “Was that wrong. Should I not have done that?”

Nick Castellanos, after finding out that drinking on the job and yelling at your boss are workplace behaviors that are generally frowned upon

sucks it played out the way it did

kinda bummed how the Castellanos experiment turned out

I was put off by his jackassery last season as much as anyone else & there’s a strong argument to make that he was a disappointment overall but at his best he was super fun & part of a golden era of awesomely quotable goofball Phils

godspeed, Nick Castellanos—you taught me it was ok to consider Scooby Doo a superhero because I mean well first off he’s a dog, right? and he can talk

CNN graphic reporting on Tom “Bitchass Loser” Homan’s presser this morning with the headline partially removed, leaving a blank space above the “BORDER CZAR TOM HOMAN SAYS” portion of the headline for inserting a new thing border czar Tom Homan says

as a public service to you: this CNN graphic with the first part of the headline redacted so you can insert your own thing border czar Tom Homan says

CNN graphic from Tom “Bitch” Homan’s presser this morning with headline reading BREAKING “I’M A BITCH,” BORDER CZAR TOM HOMAN SAYS

oh my god he admit it

probably this guy, although I think one or two members of The Bloodhound Gang are alums as well

Watch with sound on

it could definitely be used to launch xAI related items but it’s more of a who related to that company than a what

I do support building a massive catapult that launches things into space and have some suggestions for what it could be used for and it’s not ai satellites, I can tell you that much

extremely demented “lawful good,” etc. grid

not a specific food but more places should shove french fries into their sandwiches, Primanti’s style

screenshot from the women’s big air snowboarding competition with text reading “STANCE REGULAR”

when someone has a good take

screenshot from the women’s big air snowboarding competition with text reading “STANCE GOOFY”

when someone has a bad take

nostalgia is not inherently bad but it can too easily curdle into this lameass “everything was great back then and it all sucks now” attitude that prevents people from experiencing new things and having a life

but also, an Ice Dancing couple skated to Bell Biv DeVoe’s Poison, I’LL ALLOW IT

I tend to be pretty anti nostalgia but am issuing an “I’ll allow it” to the Olympics Ice Dancing for assigning a 1990s theme in the rhythm dance portion of the competition

screenshot of a twitter post from John Kruk in 2023 that reads “So if I changed my profile picture to something else, @Phillies fans give me some suggestions, nothing dirty or any smartass remarks will be blocked” and my reply to him, in which I posted a pic of him from his playing days with the Phillies in which he is modeling an old timey Phillies uniform featuring a pillbox style cap and collared jersey that (and this is important) is untucked in the pic

Kruk’s reply to the pic I posted of him in the old timey uniform, which reads “Sadly the pants didn't button so I had to have my shirt tail out”

happy 65th birthday to national treasure John Kruk

please enjoy this brief interaction I had with him on the other place in 2023 which includes a great fun fact about the pic I posted in reply to him

excellent recap of the halftime show here

screenshot of a video of Bad Bunny’s Super Bowl LX halftime show with people in tree costumes running out onto the field with a caption reading “THE TREES WERE PEOPLE 👀”

[Charlton Heston Soylent Green voice]

hell yeah, I have been saying since his 2nd FG

going all in on “that was Liam Ramos but that wasn’t Lady Gaga”

Super Bowl LX: It’s puntastic!

[pounding my fists on my little tray table holding my snacks while watching the halftime show]

WOKE! 2! WOKE! 2! WOKE! 2!

social media post from John Clark with caption “Jordan Mailata was introduced on the field at the Super Bowl as the Eagles nominee for the Walter Payton Man of the year award” the accompanying pic is a comically blurry screenshot of Mailata at the Super Bowl, like it looks like Clark literally took a pic of his tv screen with his phone

thank you, John Clark

assuming Chock & Bates is a USA Network original dramedy that aired for a few seasons in the early 2000s and will not be investigating further

a vertically stretched Donald Trump from the shoulders up text on the pic reads “it’s Whiskey Fridays with Tony Dokoupil”

TGIWFWTD

screenshot of a bullet point from a wikihow page about kazoos that reads “Do not worry if your plastic kazoo gets wet. In a few days, it will become normal.”

great news for all of you wet plastic kazoo owners out there

this post imagines a world in which Smash Mouth’s 1997 smash [PUN INTENDED] hit Walkin’ On The Sun was instead a jingle for Waffle Swoveralls

pic from an ad for Waffle Swoveralls, featuring a pic of lavender colored overalls in a waffle knit fabric

SO DON’T DELAY, ACT NOW
SUPPLIES ARE RU-U-NNING OUT
ALLOW IF YOU’RE STILL ALIVE
SIX TO EIGHT YEARS TO ARRIVE
AND IF YOU FOLLOW THERE MAY
BE A TOMORROW
BUT IF THE OFFER’S SHUNNED
YOU WON’T BE WEARING