Jeff Mac

just when I already know the guy sucks, he reaches deep down inside himself and manages to find a little more suck.

The waiter: And what would you like today young man?

My two year old:

I think that's it. I think that's the real one. I mean, let's face it, you're from the only place (besides Gilligan's house) that has any of them, I think.

sorry to be controversial on the internet but making revenge porn is still really bad even when the person in it is bad.

"oh, could a drunk judge do THIS?"

Every time I see Theo Von, I realize that I have never once seen Theo Von before, including this time.

that's probably a little closer to what they mean, but since I'm not from an old movie set in a hollywood back lot, I honestly have no idea.

anyway, if you use the word "bungalow" in any context, just know that I will picture the straw hut where Gilligan and the Skipper lived. thank you for your attention to this matter.

It's not only easy to dislike him, it's fun too!

Why Transgender People Are Not Feeling Gavin Newsom We have seen this song and dance before.

There seems to be a lot of discussion about Gavin Newsom today.

I wanted to re-share this piece that I wrote, because I have a lot of center-to-left Dems that follow me that want to understand.

There are very good reasons transgender people do not like Gavin Newsom.

I can handle any adversity as long as everything stays exactly the same all the time and nothing bad or annoying happens.

for the first time in my life, pepper made me sneeze tonight. I’ve been waiting for this moment all my life.

what I will never understand about this one is...where is he supposed to BE?

like, at a strip club? a red carpet gala event? for the grand opening of a strip club? what the fuck is HAPPENING?

I just found A.I. sitting on my couch wearing sweatpants, feeling listless. just replacing the living shit out of me.

My 70 year old dad, whose favorite band is The Righteous Brothers, just informed me that he enjoyed the Bad Bunny show bc even though he didn’t understand the words, “it seemed like everyone on stage was having a good time!” So there ya go lol.

I think there’s a certain amount of money above which you just don’t know what a ‘person’ even is anymore, including you.

realizing that some people LARP at being alive

Getting older sucks, but being younger also sucked.

There’s probably 10 seconds in the middle when everything’s awesome.

Pretty sure I was watching TV, so that’s cool.

Hold the fuck up, did they make a “what if the Artful Dodger, but horny?” show?

Some of you people need a good hosing.

I’ve been WAITING for it. For years. Maybe some fucking day.

I do not, under any circumstances, want any ‘soup you can suck on’, Fredo. I do not want it.

Of all the “ok boomers” this is the ok boomerists.

What in THE FUCK. Friendo, what in the fucking fuck?

I’ll be put in solitary for all the accidental screenshots of my Home Screen. And I’ll be grateful for it.

Al Gore didn’t invent the internet for this shit, Coach.

Ohhhh, you sure can (or so it seems on this day.)

I haven’t seen someone so deserve to be the main character of Al Gore’s Internet in quite a little while.

Yeah, it’s fucking gross all over today.

DQ just doesn’t taste like whatever DQ evidently tastes like if it’s not cooked on whatever a brazier is supposed to be.