wittip

ricotta toast is the unsung breakfast idea hero

oh to be one of those youtube djs that uploads hourlong sets of them in cool european coffee shops as their main hustle

Pickle loving mongrel

doing a cool samurai thing where I slice an incoming arrow in half with my katana, instantly killing my two buddies standing just behind me

the stink spirit from Spirited Away, a mud-monster chilling in a big pot of mud. he's got his two tentacle arms out of the water and a defeated expression on his face like he's going "wauuggghhh"

current mood

I am ready to receive so much money. kind of whenever. just announcing my availability for such things

not to kick up grain discourse but i really feel like oats are underhyped. so good for you. filling. and truly what is better on a weekend morning than a bowl of oatmeal with milk, butter, maple syrup and cinnamon? top five meals i regularly make for myself. thank you oats

people really take a single psych 101 class and spend the rest of their lives diagnosing people they don’t like as narcissists

#1 learning from editing other peoples writing is no one knows what belie means

a simple drawing of a lounging kitten with butterfly wings. a small butterfly with similar wings is above it. text reads, "ok well I'M laying down".

#catcrumb

today is like the super bowl of football

oh the superbowl? that’s bread and circuses. oscars? bread and circuses. that show you like? sorry that’s bread and circuses. the circus? you know it. do not even get me started on that bread you made dude

editing too many videos in which you appear is bad for the brain. need to go into the woods and forget i occupy physical space

i like being an artist because i have a lot of stupid ideas. then i can turn them into reality and inflict them on everyone else

I think I’m gonna begin some freak thing like referring to my body as “this vessel” until someone asks me what’s going on

I don't really know how to pretend things are normal right now. why aren't we collectively running around like things are on fire

which is not to say everything is about being on that damn phone but....maybe society really do be on that damn phone

I think part of Severance's appeal is it being liminal spaces for grownups - backrooms for people who aren't online. playing on the increasingly common fear that there used to be spaces of people and connection which are now hollows where you always feel, at the same time, both alone and watched

[an egg falls out of my pocket as I dig out my wallet on a first date] oh whoops haha I just have so many 😏

how did we communicate before reactions. always having to end with someone holding the short straw of sending the last message. now we can split the difference. and i'm splitting it with the best of them

Went over a speedbump and my lasagna flew out of the open sunroof and landed in the car next to mine. Currently in pursuit at 90mph

I have to be honest. As much as I love goodness and faithfulness and a sense of humor. I’ll be god damned if I don’t love it extra much when someone buy me thing

The same dudes who fetishize the supposed lost strength and competence of their forefathers want computers to write their emails for them.

Tired: There is another Q train immediately behind this one.

Wired: Patience, for what follows is not overfleshed.

T: Please stand clear of the closing doors.

W: Behold! The orifice seals!

idk why my brain is obsessed with the mid medieval era. maybe cause I played with that fisher price castle too much

an ad for a service where you can buy old electronics. Downgrade now. Back Market Yes-talgia. Re-introducing the Camcorder Sony HD, refurbished.

i hate this ad. i hate whoever the copywriter was. obviously this is a play on “nostalgia” being “no-stalgia” vs “yes-stalgia” but they were too cowardly to have two “s”s back to back. so now if you sub in the “no” in “yes-talgia” it’s nothing. “no-talgia.” pisses me off. go to hell. im shaking

nothing will have you shamelessly sobbing in public like trying to pick up a new snow sport as an adult