Peanut butter AND jelly? In this economy??

I am shitting in a railway station,
got a ticket for my defecation, mmm

his palms are sweaty-o's
knees weak, arms are heavy-o's
there's vomit on his sweater already-o's

Man speaks to killer from beyond the grave in Arizona courtroom through Al video

I’m seeing a lot of outrage about this story but honestly it’s preferable to the old way of doing this which was both disrespectful of the deceased and traumatising for the puppeteer

Trader Joe's Crunch Cinnamon Squares are an embarrassment to the genre.

Walked by an industrial yard and a guard dog barked at me. At this moment in the earth’s rotation the dog is at work and I’m wandering around like a wild animal.

Hey @repmoskowitz.bsky.social

NOT IN OUR NAME

a legal green card holder

Who was a student of the university in question

Exercising his 1A rights

Shouldn’t have his civil rights abrogated because you disagree with him, no matter how shitty your politics are.

That’s not how rights work.

I got that dog in me (I eat food off the floor)

Archime-Deez nuts!

This blog post is an amazing takedown. I remember writing a sudoku solver in Ada for an intro programming class. There was an assignment guide, but it just used a simple backtracking algorithm.

Oh, are you thinking of gaslamping? Common mistake

In Jason Derulo's song "Talk Dirty", he says he has "lipstick stamps on my passport; think I need a new one."

Does this mean
A) each page of his passport is occupied. He will need a new book before he can accept more stamps, or
B) as it is covered in lipstick, it is no longer valid identification

Today, we were trying to get my 5-year-old dressed, and I said, "Look what a cute outfit your momma picked out for you!"
He yelled and ran to hide behind the chair. Upon reflection, I would be *devastated* if someone said that to me.

Corndogs for my real friends. Real dogs for my corn friends

Super Nintendo, Sega Genesis
We fought for these ideals,
we shouldn't settle for less

As in,

"Why did you flush your shirt down the toilet??"
Nobody watching' me.

"Why are you cutting the carpet!"
Nobody watchin' me.

I love how it implies that his chaos is barely constrained by supervision.

My 2yo responds to any "why did you..." question by saying, "because I wanted to".

Today I talked with someone whose 4yo does the same but says, *shrug* "nobody watchin' me"

Reading a transformers early reader book with my five year old and explaining how the real villain isn't the decepticons but rather an unjust system that doesn't prioritize healthcare for people.

"what? Is that Patrick down the hall?"

"No," he told me, "🎵twinkle, twinkle Patrick Star / I made myself a sandwich 🎵 Look it up!"

To this day, every time I make a sandwich, I hum to myself, "twinkle twinkle Patrick Star. I made myself a sandwich"

More than ten years ago, at a software internship at Amazon, I responded to question about ordering lunch by saying, "no thanks, I made myself a sandwich".

The Principal Engineer of the department told me, straight-faced, "Patrick Star made himself a sandwich".

In our family we say that if we can't have chocolate without slavery we shouldn't have chocolate.

This is The Sparrow for me. Just devastating.