Petey Piranha

It was really funny when he was a pickle imo

Sakurai Adds Waluigi to Kirby Air Riders - Hard Drive TOKYO — In a recent Nintendo Direct, director Masahiro Sakurai confirmed that, after decades of speculation and demand, he would finally add... Read the full masterpiece

Sakurai Adds Waluigi to Kirby Air Riders - Hard Drive hard-drive.net/sakurai-adds...

I have yet to meet anyone who likes the Avatar movies or cares that there’s another one coming out.

I call her Jupiter the way those thangs get me stupider

Ok I thought everyone was being dramatic about "performative males" but I'm on the subway next to a guy with a pencil over his ear and an "I ❤️ Gorbachev" pin on his shirt. Mustache and leather case over the shoulder. I get it now

A house buggin' against itself cannot stand

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A proven track record of scoops

In New Jersey, a single mother struggled to figure out how to feed her two young sons with $50. In Oklahoma, a 61-year-old woman questioned whether driving to a food pantry was worth the gas money. And in Colorado, a woman grabbed food from a Walmart dumpster.

Richest nation in human history

COKE: is pepsi okay

DR PEPPER: *removes surgical mask* we did everything we could

The Dimitri finds out meme, which is a two panel vertical meme of a guy being interviewed by a lady. The caption reads "The club is bumping, the ladies look good, the alcohol is flowing." The second caption reads "There is much pain in the world, but not in this room."

Bluesky rn

more like need him piccadilly

Canada winning the World Series this year is what America deserves tbh

Why watch the remake of The Hand That Rocks the Cradle when you could watch The Hand That Cradles the Rock, otherwise known as basketball?

REAL NEWS IS SO BACK, BABY

Just saw an organ donation ad that says "we know you have it in you". Why does it sound like they're on my doorstep with knives

Oh I get it. It's called A24 because A 24 year old will talk your ear off about it

Modern pop artists are named things like 'Madison Beer' and 'Addison Rae'... well brother, hand me a BEER because I've HADDISON a long DAE!

Dubai? More like uhhhh Du-not

"President Bush" kinda went crazy as a title (I do not condone his politics)

(hot tears running down my cheeks) you just doxxed the fucking muffin man

SpongeBob sea bear meme

Almost stepped on a bug that wasn’t a spotted laternfly

Rolling Stone may be based and left-leaning, but they also gave the new Taylor album 5 stars so

The Sad Spectacle of American Comedians Selling Out in Saudi Arabia It turns out that edgy free-speech warriors will scuttle their principles for a check from a brutal autocratic regime.

My new piece, up now @thenation.com: "If only trans activists had known what size check to cut for Chappelle, they could have shut him up years ago and saved themselves all the picketing at Netflix." www.thenation.com/article/cult...

You guys I'm starting to think all this stuff isn't normal

Repost to confuse Ben Shapiro.

Day n' night
The rural juror tends to cast his vote at night
Lives in a township that is so remote
He's in the courthouse and he casts his vote at night
At, at, at night

Breaking: Alvin and the Chipmunks have committed unsqueakable war crimes in Zimbabwe

What if Thanos was a big bagel guy and in Infinity War he said "but this...does butter my bagel" haha

Apparently the most impossible thing to be is a Queens-bound G train