Mike Schuster

Your birthday's in April, would you consider sparing a wish? (If it's not too much trouble!!)

If your letter doesn't get a response (and I don't see why it wouldn't), you could always try speaking your demands into a jar, quickly sealing it, and overnighting it to DC

Governor, have you looked into vision boards, because I hear those work

You were still busy after school with football

(Shaving points)

Your one mistake, you signed your test Mary Matthews

Married to the Mob (1988)

NW:

(bursting into the shop out of breath) WHAT FONT IS THAT

"Noted"

Genuine Bluesky user Sofia Vergara now follows me

Oh boy, this complicates things

Ah, well I accept your apology

I know right?

Are you sure that's what Israel wants?

Kind of bonkers that people in dentist offices are just hearing about this in 2026

Oh, you're still busy, anybody in charge will do

Just got some questions once you're off the phone with your travel agent

I'm on it!

This needs to be at the top of every story about the ICE body-cam thing. They already have body cameras.

Wild card: Something Russo-Finnish

1950s rubber monster
1950s teenage delinquency
1960s dubbed foreign thriller
1970s TV-movie

inside you there are two wolves

This is how I win

if you've blocked @neilhimself.neilgaiman.com unblock him long enough to check whether or not you are still following him, because it is so fucking many of you.

i was reading some old 90s books about dialup cybersex BBSes on archive.org and i learned about tom terrific who owned the pleasure dome. thank you, tom terrific, for owning the pleasure dome.

You got your dream job? That's cool. I like to chill in my dreams mostly.

same bot messaging me that she loves my style fr

don’t dm my gf 🤬

If she has a vast fortune that she needs me to move into the country for a small fee, I'll consider it