matt 🦖

I'm going to make a video game where every command is slowly subsumed by buttons that pet the dog.

I mean, the thing is, this is kind of just your baseline American impression of Canada. This is just the Shaq Epson commercial where goes “Hi Canada! Hockey? Love it!” But, you know, from a sundowning head of state.

The combat in Metaphor: ReFantazio is so frustrating.

I watched the Bad Bunny halftime show, and may I just say, merci beaucoup monsieur Méchant Lapin pour inclure le Canada dans votre message de la solidarité Americaine.

No, I can't close these tabs, these are my emotional support Dark Souls III guide tabs.

Quote with your horn art!

Lil puny baby horns, but horns nonetheless!

If it helps, this seems to be standard operating procedure for any kind of problem, no matter the size. My friend got stuck for like 6 hours due to a forest fire last summer and the response was, you guessed it, free slice of pizza.

They’re calling it the Super Bowl of foot ball.

Drake Maye or Drake May not. Who’s to say?

While many of you will be screaming “go patriots!” or “go Seahawks!” I’ll be screaming “go Robert Mueller and the rule of law!”

Pandemic lockdowns had me walking around my apartment saying to no one in particular “You know who like? That John Leguizamo.”

I think maybe we just need to burn the world down and start over. Maybe give the lobsters a chance.

Me? I’m AHAB. Gonna get that fuckin whale.

Remap Radio - Private Remap Radio - Game of the Year Part 4 0:01 - 3:45:33

*slaps the hood of @remapradio.bsky.social’s Game of the Year Part 4 podcast* This 5-star runtime can fit so much Rob Zacny slander.

worst version of this engagement farming was final rounds of Twitter - the game there has now become to create completely opaque, senseless vids/posts designed to trigger a fleet of morons to ask grok “context?”

no clearer illustration to me of Arendt’s point - fascism unstitches meaning itself.

The fucking psychic damage I keep taking from random instagram posts with "What do you think?" in the description is enough that I think I need to delete that app for good.

I don't know when everyone became so obsessed with how much media costs to produce and how much it earns in sales, but the rise of cost-forward discussion of art is genuinely one of the most annoying and damaging things to happen to media literacy.

M**a L**a

It's so annoying that my job requires regular exposure to this wretched screed. Change the fucking record, man.

So funny to be a grievance columnist for a local newspaper, regularly use your platform to lash out at civilians when criticized over your uninformed, barely literate opinions only to retreat to the aegis of "Well, a would-be local Thomas Kinkade shares my opinion! Checkmate!" when challenged.

Assassin’s Creed: It’s A Video Game, Alright

Your life is like a book written by you, but brother, statistically speaking, you are not a writer, and man, this is… woof, you wrote this? Yikes dawg.

Jeff Bozos

Can't wait to go home and go ape shit on some bread.

A fun improv exercise is explaining what your job is to the consultant your business hired to explore how to improve your department.

“The website is run by the stupidest people alive” is not really what people wanted brought over from Twitter when Bluesky started, but alas!

At least two people have spoken to me about ACOTAR over the last week and I’m sorry, was I supposed to just KNOW that as an acronym???

Boy, that second Absolute Batman arc really fucking goes places, huh?

Maybe what irritates me is that I just haven't figured out how to monetize the rot, personally.

That there is even a single hungry person in the world while a class of untouchable wealthy elites does whatever debased thing strikes their fancy at any given moment without fear of consequence or reprisal is a societal failure on a frankly colossal scale.