I'm All Write 🍻

Darth Vader: Luke I am your father!

Luke: Gary?

Vader: What? No, it's Darth Va... who the fuck is Gary?

Beliefs, wishes, and assumptions aren't facts.

Facts are facts.

What's the square root of Angry 64?

H8

Bleh, it's weekend bluesky, this is what you get

Bringing a cake to a knife fight.

I'm so broke I just googled "is it ok to eat cardboard?"

If it aint broke, don't fix it.
If it is broke, dont date it cuz then you'll just end up paying for everything

If your name is Carrie I expect you to be good at picking up an object and taking it from one location to another location

It's weird that BMW makes its cars without turn signals

Trump & MAGA boast about Canada becoming the 51st state, BUT:
Canada would become the most populated state in the Union, surpassing California. It would have 55 seats in the House and 2 in the Senate
Republicans would never win the House ever again, probably not Senate either 😄

YouTube video by Terrapin Creations Bedrock Twitch

youtu.be/5haMVR5my-s?...

It turns out the TV series GOTHAM has nothing to do with the acquisition and retention of pork

One of the hardest things to do in life is to ride a Pogo stick across freshly waxed linoleum tile while holding a full pot of coffee.

I know this now

Sunday mood

I hate it when I get drunk at the dog park and come home with 15 dogs.

I don’t even own a dog.

And why are the cops here?

Lessons kids learn quick:

When Mom is pissed at Dad, you don't let her brush your hair!!!

Canadians increase border security

My first computer - the Apple 2C+ with 32k upgraded hard drive memory and the device for loading a program wasn't a disk, it was a tape recorder with tape cassette

"I need ammunition, not a ride"

- Volodymyr Zelenskyy turns down U.S. evacuation offer February 26,2022 after Russian invasion of Ukraine

my dogs probably think i'm an idiot for only sleeping once a day

Trump & MAGA boast about Canada becoming the 51st state, BUT:
Canada would become the most populated state in the Union, surpassing California. It would have 55 seats in the House and 2 in the Senate
Republicans would never win the House ever again, probably not Senate either 😄

Well, the good news is there's only 1,431 days left in his second term
🤦‍♂️

Me to my wife: Hey honey sorry I didn't hear you call earlier, the dog fell asleep on the phone

My wife: Who is he talking to?

*me, getting stabbed to death by my wife*

Wife: No no no, you're doing it all wrong. Lay on your back, not your side, bleed slower and are you seriously wearing that shirt?

Can't, busy reading the instructions on this shampoo bottle. I can't afford any more mistakes

I met a woman named Claire so I asked her if her last name was Voyant.

She did not see that coming 😉

YouTube video by Disturbed Disturbed - The Sound Of Silence (Official Music Video) [4K UPGRADE]

youtu.be/u9Dg-g7t2l4?...

YouTube video by TomJonesVEVO Tom Jones, The Cardigans - Burning Down The House (Official Video)

youtu.be/iYuldgIOelY?...

It's weird that BMW makes its cars without turn signals

YouTube video by Alexander Cauan are you a drug dealer? 😂😅 My cocaine as in #michaelcaine

He's totally cool with it
youtube.com/shorts/yZxaJ...

whats the difference between a chickpea and a red kidney bean?

Ive never had a red kidney bean on my face…

#DocAfterDark