tom

the internet has gotta stop doing russell wilson like that. he got real old, real fast but seahawks russ was one of the purest throwers of a football ever. he could even throw the ball farther than me

i cannot even begin to describe to you how badass this movie is

"Thomas Dorsalini" would be a 10/10 italian-american name and yet I gotta settle for Tom Dorsa

pre-1900s italian diaspora is entirely poverty-based which is tough but what is also tough is that, from the stories i was told, some ellis island dipshit fucked up my ancestors' surname and wrote down "Dorsa" whereas all of the photos and notes they brought over were marked "Dorsalini"

in virtually every other era of the sport, judge would correctly be celebrated as the best player in baseball. and yet in 2026, he has no logical argument for this title despite otherworldly offensive numbers. please comment below if you do indeed think this is the dumbest thing to feel bad about

WORLD'S STUPIDEST BLUESKY POST CONTENDER: i kinda feel bad for aaron judge. he is certifiably the best hitter since early-2000s barry bonds and yet his sheer greatness (rightfully or not) exists in the shadow of shohei ohtani, the most talented ballplayer we have ever seen

my favorite thing about OOTP is the random guys who are somehow awesome even across countless different sims. i used to pick up seth beer, nicky lopez, and luis gillourme any way I could in OOTP20 and they turned out to be studs like 90% of the time

c.j. stroud is currently employing an advanced offensive tactic nfl analysts have dubbed "playing with your eyes closed and seeing what happens"

only the two best players in the NHL have more goals than jason robertson this season and yet bill guerin is genuinely convinced there are *at least* 14 forwards more deserving of a spot on the olympic roster

i will be attending as many major league baseball games as possible in 2026 and enjoying every bit of each one, knowing that baseball in 2027 is a pipe dream at this point

i have been to laramie, wyoming before. i am pretty much josh allen

me: well hey, al michaels is so old and clearly mentally cooked that instead of calling NFL games, he should run for president! folks,

my therapist: What does that have to do with the familial trauma you outlined

i think the ravens win the afc north and make the playoffs if instead of tyler loop, they had FTBAL135.BMF and his incredible, fundamentally-sound form kicking the game winning field goal

my therapist says i need to reassure myself of my skills and talents in 2026. here goes: i am an exceptionally skilled craftsman, a respected outdoorsman, and i know how to count to six. that last one is something i worked passionately on last year

it is becoming increasingly clear that carlos beltran and andruw jones will achieve the 75% vote threshold on the writer's ballots, joining jeff kent to create perhaps the most problematic baseball hall of fame induction class ever

i was on the polar express. i missed my transfer in chicago and had to take a different route home. i slept through most of the insane christmasy shit that happened. i drank a prosecco in the cafe car and verbally fought someone over whether or not cows lay eggs

it gets worse than this

btw in this world, the players live at the stadium year-round like some sort of fucked up habitrail

the nfl should have survivor-esque immunity idols scattered across the stadium for the players to find. when a player acquires one, they can choose to use it to negate a penalty called against them. this is the single worst idea anyone has ever had and i am rarely this confident about anything

anyways i really enjoy fettuccine alfredo. it is pretty good

congratulations to munetaka murakami for securing a team with which to play baseball next season. im posting this because last year my rec baseball team had a longer-tenured player return from an injury that sidelined him for 2024, and to make room decided to let me go. still kinda bummed about it

the tacos in anaheim are so good! unfortunately i started to feel a little sick after i 8-3 of them

watching john klingberg absolutely pants sidney crosby in the big two thousand and twenty five on repeat, forever

the stars will cruise to the #2 seed in the central, defeat a solid wild team in six, win a grueling seven-game series against a juggernaut avs squad, then bring their tired and fucked up bodies to edmonton to be goalied into oblivion by tristan fucking jarry. the script practically writes itself

An American football, aka a pigskin. The sportswriters compare football to war, but Father John believes they’re wrong. Football is like faith. A game of make-believe played on a field of arbitrary white lines, contingency and chaos all around. Coaches call their plays and sometimes they work and sometimes they don’t. Just like prayer. The refs enforce the rules, imperfectly. That’s the church. Only the crowd in the stadium is the same whether it’s football or religion. Each side believing they’re the only side who deserves to win. Ah, hell, Father John thinks crudely, making the Sign of the Cross. Who am I kidding, football is football and nothing more. He eats his wings and watches the game.

FOOTBALT.BMF

today is the worst day imaginable for residents of oxford, mississippi since august 22nd, 1864

They're doing this to me today

i am in nebraska for the first time today, which means i have finally seen for my own eyes how magnificently vast the great plains can be. and! the great plains has finally seen an italian guy in a dallas stars sweatshirt

drake london? more like drake london, because this game is in berlin, germany. or i mean more like drake berlin because this game is in berlin

Justin Hryckowian will be a fantastic "name a random Star" pull like 15 years from now