OxfordHacker

I'm rebranding my executive dysfunction, from now on I will be "serving can't"

"Chat, are we cooked?" Zoomer fighter pilot Jayden 'The Grim Rizzler' Jones asks his TikTok live audience as the Gettysburg achieves target lock on him with an SM-2 missile.

11431 downvotes for Trump being given the Fifa Peace Prize

Because the football feed is covering the draw it allows up and downvotes, thrilling stuff

A social media post spokenitalics Jun 20, 2021 First-ever DNA recovered from extinct miniature elephants of Sicily By Josh Davis First published 18 June 2021 jurassic park but it's tiny elephants and nothing goes wrong cipheramnesia Jun 24, 2021 same score but played entirely on kazoos

Just gonna lighten the mood up a bit.

IMAGINE TEENY ELEPHANTS

www.youtube.com/watch?v=gvrW...

ME: they shouldn't be able to say 'your order has shipped' when they've just created a label. That's not shipped.
ISAAC CHOTINER: so, you've never claimed to have a task underway when you've merely opened the file?
ME: that's not-
CHOTINER: in this Teams message to your boss, you said-

oh hell yeah

Genuine question. What invasion of privacy will you choose to determine biological sex

Where Did These Famous Hip Hop Screeches Come From? Two of the most famous screeches in music history are from House of Pain’s Jump Around and Cypress Hill’s Insane in the Brain — you likely heard both of them in your mind just reading the names of the songs. This short

Two of the most famous screeches in music history are from House of Pain’s Jump Around and Cypress Hill’s Insane in the Brain. Which one of them was sampled from a horse (and not Prince)? [kottke.org]

Imagine your country being seen as a hope for a new life for thousands of people wanting to live and contribute in your towns and instead of being proud of it you go no nope nope this country should be a scary shitheap people should be scared to come here how dare they think we are good

You know, I think if I owned the rights to a century's worth of the most acclaimed films ever like The Wizard of Oz and 2001, plus all the most popular characters in cartoon history, plus Superman and Batman, plus tons of other stuff, I could probably make enough money I wouldn't need to sell it.

The New Yorker’s Isaac Chotiner Interviews Santa Claus For several centuries, Santa Claus has been one of the most prolific mythical gift-givers in the world. Formerly known as Saint Nicholas of Myra, a...

Absolutely fucking dying here www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/the...

Ireland calling the UK out for being stupid enough to fall for this 'gender critical' bollocks.

Streeting nervously twirling telephone cord hoping RFK Jr will finally return his calls Wes Streeting is currently waiting by the phone hoping fellow health secretary Robert Francis Kennedy Jr has finally noticed what a special little evil boy he is, according to political sources. Stree...

Retired ghost train animatronic Streeting said: “I’m so nervous. What if he picks up? What if he’s seen this ADHD thing and gone ‘Attaboy, Streeting! Why don’t you come to the White House and play a round of golf with me and my friends? They’re your friends now, too, Wes, and so am I’?”

Penguin Classics cover of The Shipping News by Annie Proulx. cover image is an overhead shot of the Evergiven stuck in the Suez canal

Penguin Classics cover of The Shipping News by Annie Proulx. cover image is a screenshot of a salon article about kids writing racy fan fiction

two versions on this one

WRITER OF 'WE WISH YOU A MERRY CHRISTMAS':
And then we end on wishing them a happy new year, and that's the song 😊

FIGGY PUDDING MARKETING DEPARTMENT:
Great! Just one minor suggestion

Them: “25 years ago”
Me: *nods sagely* “1986”

Always amused (not amused) at how regularly the idea that there is a 'right' amount of mental ill-health in British society and that we must somehow return there. Declaring the correct amount of mental ill-health based on what you are prepared to pay to mitigate its effects isn't how reduction works

Free speechwriting tip for the PM: www.newstatesman.com/politics/uk-...

[Buildings around the country keep burning down].

"Hmm, the solution here is, we need to be more strict about how we're defining 'fire'."

Penguin Classics cover of It by Stephen King. cover image is Michael Palin with long unkempt hair and beard as the "it's" man from the opening of many Flying Circus episodes

Penguin classics cover of the fault in our stars by john green, but the cover image is the blg blue scientology building in LA that says SCIENTOLOGY on it in massive letters

penguin classics cover for extremely loud and incredibly close by jonathan safran foer, but the cover image is the "girl shouting at boy" meme

Sad to hear about Nigel Farage. Nothing's happened to him, I just don't like hearing about him.

1. Why is there a long description of black holes in your book about sexting an anti-vaxxer.

2. That is not what Hawking radiation is.

3. lol what

The haters tried to silence her. And they did. Honestly a great call from the haters.

subscriptions >>> shop.viz.co.uk/viz351bs

I Know What You Did Last Sumer

I called my recipe book Sabzi – vegetables. But the name was trademarked. And my legal ordeal began The granting of patents and trademarks to foods and words from the global south is part of a long colonial grab. It’s time to realise we share what we cook, and what we call it

I had vaguely followed the ridiculous legal threats over "sabzi" but learned from this op-ed that the DUCHY OF CORNWALL got involved?! Wild. www.theguardian.com/food/comment...

Johann Lamont @JohannLamont• 1d X Girlguiding decision important yet it all makes me sad. The Guides meant so much to me but the announcement is so grudging, so reluctant, so concerned about the impact on boys, I wonder if it can ever again give girls the brilliant, confidence building space in which I thrived. • 93 {7 316 O3.1K I|41K •

Note how these awful people are getting exactly the exclusions of children that they demanded and *that still isn’t enough for them*: they demand everyone be delighted about it and kiss their arses for being brilliant.