@nativeminnow.bsky.social
A doctor, but not the important kind. Bill Clinton lookalike, but not the important kind.
GF: Here, finish this, I can’t. [Hands me her drink.]
Me: I see. Trying to give me your cold, eh?
GF: The cold you gave to me? Yeah.
We can’t sustain a society where wealthy people can get away with what the rest of us would be put to death for.
18.02.2026 01:26 — 👍 146 🔁 57 💬 1 📌 1can’t. i’m going the distance, i’m going for speed
18.02.2026 04:27 — 👍 17 🔁 4 💬 1 📌 3💕
16.02.2026 06:19 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0imagine killing a whole mammoth and ur crush is like sorry im only into gatherers
20.06.2024 05:41 — 👍 670 🔁 139 💬 10 📌 3watching a baby ride a dinosaur and i’m not even high this is just sunday night for me now
16.02.2026 05:09 — 👍 52 🔁 17 💬 0 📌 0I'll fix it in post, I say about my life
29.01.2026 15:19 — 👍 119 🔁 39 💬 3 📌 2
JFC, cut that shit in half and you’ve eradicated hunger, provided healthcare for all and made education free for all Americans. What the fuck are we doing?
15.02.2026 12:52 — 👍 8993 🔁 3280 💬 851 📌 337
“Listen … you go tell Billy’s mother, and I’ll start looking for another old tire.”
“Listen … you go tell Billy’s mother, and I’ll start looking for another old tire.”
15.02.2026 17:10 — 👍 261 🔁 63 💬 1 📌 1Wished a “Happy Palentine’s Day” to my GF and now I’m definitely not getting laid
15.02.2026 06:43 — 👍 5 🔁 2 💬 0 📌 0Who up twistin’ they Oliver?
15.02.2026 04:15 — 👍 27 🔁 4 💬 0 📌 2Love this for you both
15.02.2026 04:02 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0What is it about rich dudes who’ve never held public office that makes them think “President! That’s where I’ll start!”?
15.02.2026 04:01 — 👍 3 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0baking a king cake but instead of a plastic baby inside it’s my index finger
12.02.2026 00:02 — 👍 247 🔁 50 💬 21 📌 3sorry I haven’t been online lately but, as Mother used to say, if you don’t have anything nice to say…
12.02.2026 14:12 — 👍 36 🔁 9 💬 1 📌 0I act younger than I am because I wasted 20 years of my life
09.02.2026 13:03 — 👍 170 🔁 59 💬 6 📌 0I didn’t realize my girlfriend was in The Mountain Goats
10.02.2026 19:09 — 👍 3 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0Not to complain but we needed a “disable reskeets” button before we needed a drafts folder
10.02.2026 11:58 — 👍 4 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0Watched the Super Bowl ads, and thank god I live in the Third World.
09.02.2026 04:34 — 👍 33 🔁 11 💬 1 📌 0Can't.
Busy filling the drafts folder with gnomic phrases that'll make no sense in the morning.
ONE TIME I have too much to drink and the bartender pierces my ear with a thumbtack and you won’t let me live it down
10.02.2026 04:05 — 👍 5 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0conservative: i can’t understand a single word in this halftime show, what else is on
🎵bawitdaba, da bang, da dang diggy diggy🎵
conservative: amen patriot
“Mom. Dad. I got the part!”
The part:
Imagine telling your folks you got the part in the halftime show only to end up being one of the bunches of grass that didn’t even move
09.02.2026 15:13 — 👍 6 🔁 1 💬 1 📌 1Thanks for the follow, good luck finding anything worth sharing.
07.02.2026 12:47 — 👍 52 🔁 14 💬 1 📌 0I live in a town so small none of the services advertised during the Super Bowl even exist here
09.02.2026 04:32 — 👍 26 🔁 4 💬 0 📌 1If science is so great why do we only have one vegetable on the cob
08.02.2026 02:54 — 👍 535 🔁 112 💬 24 📌 6
Image of the Yeti in the skiing Windows game SkiFree eating the player
Breaking: Tragedy at the Winter Olympics
07.02.2026 15:39 — 👍 8578 🔁 2544 💬 73 📌 69Lose weight with this simple diet trick I call not having any extra money ever
06.02.2026 23:40 — 👍 8 🔁 1 💬 0 📌 0In the not-too-distant future, RiffTrax is making four new episodes of Mystery Science Theater 3000! Support us on Kickstarter: rifftraxmakesmst3k.com #RiffTraxMakesMST3K @mst3kofficial.bsky.social
02.02.2026 18:20 — 👍 1979 🔁 664 💬 118 📌 279
