tarlton minse

*six bees in my ass voice*: there's six bees in my ass

eat the rich

kill yourself kill your
self kill yourself kill yourself
kill yourself kill your

huh, very clever
sneaky without the format
slippery mummyn

fresh flesh carpentry
living jigsaw puzzle meat
man missing pieces

UH OH PARTY FOUL
HAIKU WEEK SIN DETECTED
STRAIGHT TO MOON PRISON

used cars, west ennui
vehicular hostages
suck exhaust rich boy

coming to you live
inside your dad i now wait
online parasite

chunky piss is here
now in kidneys everywhere
celebrate your pain

corroborated
ethically studied ham
pork science will reign

it's earth's haiku week. post/reply in haiku or get moon imprisoned

interviewer: 2 doubloons or a labubu
subject: labubu
interviewer: absolute power or a labubu
subject: (pointing a gun at the interviewer) you will give me both

there's a small, pink man dancing on my grave. he's pink as a grapefruit, probably from all the exercise dancing

the government want you to know. they want you to share the miracle. mix every cleaning chemical you can find into a gatorade bottle and drink it. they need you to know that this is how we make it. this is how we break through.

cutting my tuna with mayo just to feel something

pepper expert here ☝️ if a pepper bites you, even after death, it means you've accidentally stepped through its territory! put a gun in my mouth and pump the trigger, playboy!

mission impossible: dad reckoning. 1.5 hours of dad looking at burgers on the grill and going mmhmmm i reckon that's done. tom cruise scissor kicks me into space

that's raw as hell

all five of my thumbs point to the east. i can't control it. it's like a physical metaphor for optimism

follow a toad, you'll see

all toads lead to rome

look upon my twerks ye mighty and despair; the booty is poppin for thee

"living" in "skin"

building a machine that will end

am pegrant

popping a clutch of horse eggs like jellybeans. gonna hatch in my tummy and give the gut flora something to bet on

sitting calmly at the end of a very long, elaborate rube-goldberg machine. the final piece is a shotgun, the barrel is in my mouth. i'm humming the theme tune from pacific rim

i heard you like to wrap your legs in fish skin and flap around, gasping for air like a beached eastern sea gar. i'll roll you like an oat. i'll roll you so hard your entire genetic line tracing back to the apes will retroactively spin like fucking beyblades

hey jims i heard your head is full of sand. i heard that you make a soft rustling sound as you walk because of all of the sand in your head. is it true that if someone even thinks about all that sand then their heart curdles and every bird within 200km goes bald? i think it is. i think it is true

following a beautiful swan into the mist. our oil lamps are flickering and the men are frightened but it has my pocket watch and i need it back

battlefield 6 comes out in a few hours. gamers rise up #johnhaloismypresident