Dreamweasel

SPOILER: It’s not gonna be the Jews or the Swedish

Back in Normal Times, we don't actually want POTUS to be able to go snoop around in the investigations of the Justice Department, getting access to whatever details of any private citizen's case that he wants. The DOJ is supposed to be independent. POTUS only hires its leader, then it's hands off.

Trump has not only corrupted the DOJ to go after his political opponents, he's also caused regular people to forget how a DOJ is supposed to work.

People sincerely ask why Biden didn't know about, and expose, Trump's prominence in the Epstein files and all the horrific accusations against him.

HOST: Long story short, the President is a powermad racist pedophile with one political party that will do anything to protect him and another political party that seems powerless to do anything about it

D: Maybe that blessed day will happen soon

R: He’s made America great again

HOST: President Trump is increasingly hostile, defensive, and untethered to reality

R: We can handle a few “mean Tweets” if it’ll get the country back on track

D: Trump is clearly a dangerous lunatic who we sincerely hope will die soon

HOST: There is even talk of Donald Trump ignoring the 22nd Amendment and running for a third term in 2028

R: That will never happen, but it would be awesome if it did

D: Fortunately, the odds seem quite high that Trump will die before then

HOST: So, the 2026 midterms are coming up and Trump is going to make it harder to vote

D: Please do everything in your power to elect Democrats so there will be more of us lying in wait for Trump to finally die

R: I can tell you eight months in advance that the elections were rigged

HOST: Trump is acting in reckless disregard of the Constitution

R: It’s better than the woke mob forcing gender identity politics down our children’s throats

D: We look forward to the blessed day in the future when Trump dies and our country will return to normal

HOST: Donald Trump is mentioned in the Epstein files 38,000 times

R: It’s awesome to watch Democrats cry because they can’t touch him no matter what he does

D: Yes, but the one thing you’re forgetting is that Donald Trump will definitely die someday

HOST: ICE agents are wreaking havoc in cities all across America

R: Serves you liberals right for letting so many immigrants into the country

D: It is an appalling violation of civil rights which will end the microsecond Donald Trump dies

HOST: President Trump is increasingly hostile, defensive, and untethered to reality

R: We can handle a few “mean Tweets” if it’ll get the country back on track

D: Trump is clearly a dangerous lunatic who we sincerely hope will die soon

HOST: Good morning; we’re here on our Sunday morning news show with an elected Republican official and an elected Democratic official

D: Good morning

R: Hail MAGA

And Now, a Word from Our Elected Officials HOST: Good morning; we’re here on our Sunday morning news show with an elected Republican official and an elected Democratic official

AND NOW, A WORD FROM OUR ELECTED OFFICIALS

New blog post:
open.substack.com/pub/dreamwea...

I think Linda Perry would approve

A BRIEF SUMMARY OF OUR PARTISAN DIVIDE

🔴: This is awesome! Look at how angry he’s making the liberals!

🔵: WHEN WILL HE DIE?

No wonder this is going to take 3 hours

I am BEGGING you to read the room.

MAGA doesn’t care about women’s sports.

They don’t care about women’s safety.

They don’t care about sexual assault.

And they don’t care about grooming children.

MAGA only pretends to care about these things as a means to discriminate against immigrants and transgender people.

Everyone’s worried about the circus clown on crystal meth holding up a daycare center with an AR-15, so I for one am looking forward to his speech

Twelve Other Things to Look Out for: ⬇️

bsky.app/profile/drea...

R: Liberals took “I can destroy the country” out of context, which is why we can never take their criticisms of Trump seriously ever again

D: Trump is a convicted felon who tried to overturn the 2020 election and is mentioned 38,000 times in the Epstein Files

R: None of that is important

reporting live from upper manhattan, it is me, your snow correspondent

(turns to camera dramatically) there is snow

😃: Well, you liberals should have thought of that before you forced everyone to wear masks!

👨🏼‍⚕️: Oh, crikey!

(credits roll)

😃: I am your new President, Donald Trump, and I am here to exercise authoritarian controls on the economy and send ICE into sanctuary cities to round up the migrants

🧑‍🎤: But that’s tyranny!

👨‍🚒: How tyrannical that Democrats are forcing us to inject the vaccines that Donald Trump heroically created for us to stop the disease that was never much worse than the flu

👨🏻‍🎤: I can’t wait to be jabbed multiple times! Also, I have no idea what a woman is

👨🏻‍🦳: I’m President Biden, and I insist that all Americans who wish to participate in society inject the poisonous mRNA vaccines into their system

👨🏻‍🎤: I am a liberal sheep, and I think that is a great idea

👩🏻‍🎤: I blame President Trump for the spread of the Coronavirus because I am a liberal with TDS

👩🏽‍🦱: But did you know that Trump signed Operation Warp Speed to develop the vaccine faster?

👩🏻‍🎤: YOINKS! Well, I feel ridiculous now

🧑‍🎤: I have heard reports that hundreds of thousands of people have died of the Coronavirus

👮🏼‍♂️: Those biased reports are misleading, as they neglected to mention the vast numbers of people who had comorbidities that contributed to their demise

🧑‍🎤: Well, that’ll teach me to get all my news from CNN

😷: I wear masks everywhere because I treat Dr. Fauci like a god

👲🏻: I am a Revolutionary Communist and am here to explain precisely how the State will benefit if everyone is forced to wear masks

👨🏼‍⚕️: I am Dr. Anthony Fauci, a camera-hungry and deeply partisan quack who does not know what he is doing. First I told people not to wear masks, and then I succumbed to Deep State pressure and insisted that they should!