Rufus Xavier Sarsaparilla, Pronoun Master

colleges are a lot like beers, in that it doesn’t really matter which one you pick. they’re all equally good and indistinguishable from one another

Edit: barcode not barrow

You can ask to keep the old card! It will not longer function (updating to a new card will assign a new barrow # to your account) but if you just want to save the design, library staff should be cool with you keeping it

Working my usual weekend shift and we're keeping an unofficial tally of how many new library cards we sign up that came specifically for the Prince cards. 8 in two hours.

Anecdotally, we probably get 1-2 new cards a day on average.

These came in a big box that said "DO NOT OPEN UNTIL EMBARGO IS LIFTED" in scary letters at work. I also am preparing for double the amount of patron calls. This card is super cool though! Before I was up here, all the MO libraries i worked for had very boring card designs

Wishing Curtis Sliwa all the pussy his heart desires

the reason republicans lost yesterday is because theyre a bunch of weird freaks pushing policy that everyone hates

The less subscribers the YouTuber has, the better. I dont need a 5 minute intro.

The 1 minute and 29 second video that showed me how to replace my cars broken side mirror saved me 1500 dollars. Had less than 500 views.

basically every 2024 truism is dead. Trump did not build a lasting multiracial coalition or turn young men into committed Republicans. You don’t need to cave on trans rights to win. The pundits have nothing left to tell you.

Looking forward to learning all about how the right should move left to win elections tomorrow. They should maybe dye their hair pink, learn to love pronouns.

Put the pronouns back in the email

2026 Primary Woke Wave

Can’t believe Dick Chaney couldn't even last four days into No Nut November

this is a reminder that we dont have to settle for newsom in 2028

Dick Van Dyke has OUTLIVED Dick Cheney

DIVA DOWN!

no matter your politics it’s disrespectful to joke about someone’s death. don’t say dick cheney died when he was out hunting and tried to shoot a bird in a tree but missed and hit a big branch which fell on his dick and smashed him flat and then the bird pooped on his head. don’t say stuff like that

Silksong players only think Bilewater is bad because of the name. If it was called Candy Town everyone would love it.

Its insane to me that a bunch of men with large amounts of money and power talk like mentally ill people hanging out in the grocery store parking lot.

I need a full pitchfork style review of brat. By Luigi Mangione immediately.

i hate that AI has now caused me to question the authenticity of cute animal videos online, which is my primary use of social media. i don't even know if this baby penguin actually wore a beret to go buy a tiny baguette in paris

“Eating candy corn feels like eating wax”

Yes! Good! Exactly! Do you know how many scented candles I’ve had that I’ve desperately wanted to eat?

Don't care what people use SNAP on and never will, fuck you if you care

I completely understand the ennui experienced by the average person in our modern age but it's very funny to be like "This sucks I wish I was a farmer in the 1400s"

By the time the meme that a library made went viral, please know that every library worker you know has already seen it at least 90 times.

transgender baseball is more important than MLB

i think if you ride public transit enough you learn that most weird behavior is not dangerous, and conversely i think driving a car teaches you that everyone is trying to kill you at all times

it's not the law, but his decision to acknowledge the law, that is the highest authority here. trump isn't half as scary as how so many US institutions seem as though they'd be perfectly content with a dictator

CHOTINER: So you asked for a Birkin bag?
KOKO: Yes. Possession Bag.
CHOTINER: And you had the funds to acquire this?
KOKO: No, Professor Purchase Koko Gorilla
CHOTINER: That doesn't sound like the funds were justifiable.
KOKO: Hostility Interviewer

"These kids are just so rude screaming 6 7, we never did that growing up" speak for yourself, I remember millennial teens screaming YOLO and yeet all the time.