Alex Cruden-Archer

when the bouncers have reluctantly let me into the club but immediately realise they’ve made a horrible mistake

Dick Cheney won't see your mean jokes about his death, but Tony Blair will, hopefully.

Christ, he is supernaturally good at this.

AI fantasy image of 50-something-year-old guy with Thing from Addams Family on his shoulder, but if Thing had four fingers instead of five. Unclear whether Thing is just hanging out like a parrot sidekick to a pirate, or if its placement on the man's shoulder suggests an intimacy, possibly even an erotic component. Also the man has an American flag lapel pin, suggesting he may be a senator or something? The best i can offer is that they are both former veterans and Thing lost a finger (roughly ten percent of its body, by weight) in the Iraq War, and now the man has ridden his veteran story to victory in the political sphere, simultaneously trying to appease Thing as a result of an old promise made to "make sure he's taken care of, after all this over, if we both get out alive" and desperately hoping no one ever uncovers the truth, that he and Thing, alone in the desert and lacking their normal choice of companionship, may have idled away some aroused hours with - you guessed it, say it with me now - "Hand Stuff"

got this ad on reddit and yeah thank you AI, this is absolutely my wildest fantasy. cant wait to live this thrilling dream at last

Sharon & Ozzy Osbourne: Coming Home review – an extremely moving look into the rock icon’s final months This fly-on-the-wall documentary was meant to follow the couple as they left LA for Buckinghamshire. It turned into a compellingly intimate memorial

@secondmentions.bsky.social 'the bat-chomping, luxuriantly bouffanted Prince of Darkness' www.theguardian.com/tv-and-radio...

Built in the 13th century. So that mosque stood for 800 years with every sort of person from every place and every religion in the world passing through Gaza century after century, only for it to be blown up by some shithead loser sitting behind a computer that we probably paid for.

Why are there SO MANY tv ads for train companies, when nobody really has a choice in what train company they use??

Greetings cards labelled "Nan, Nanna, Nanny, Nana and Nannie"

Freed from desire, mind and senses purified
Freed from desire, mind and senses purified
Freed from desire, mind and senses purified
Freed from desire...

It was already going badly, then she spent a very long time telling me about her mate "Weird Steve", who "buys exotic meats on Wowcher". "That's just his mentabolism", she explained.

“A child offered a high five up high but then he offered one down low & pulled it away before I could make contact, informing me I was ‘too slow.’ Anyway, this is why I fully support extrajudicial killings.” - Every Conservative Today

when they close it all up, I do believe this will go down as the funniest video on the internet

The "………BOOK NOW" absolutely killed me

We were telling my mother-in-law about that new Chris Evans/Pedro Pascal movie, and she got confused because she thought we were talking about the guy from TFI Friday and Joe Pasquale

Can you believe this

post by evan saying matcha pilates in bali before labubu rave with jabba the hut q photo with a quote text quote tweeting him

gf sent me this and i am dying

We stayed at No.42 by Guesthouse last month and it was so nice. It has a *free snack bar*!

Ruud van Nistelrooy has been sacked so here's a final outing for our drawing of him which is absolutely not Gerry Adams or Richard Osman or Harold Shipman or Jermaine Clement so please stop saying that

I have a book recommendation, if you're interested: "Why Can't I Just Enjoy Things" by Pierre Novellie. He's a comedian who was diagnosed with ASD in his thirties and he writes about all sorts of things that started fitting into place for him. Really informative and funny.

A photo of Mr Beast, with his characteristic dead-eyed smile, looks more like a chimp baring its teeth in anger. Anyway the photo has the caption MR BREAST

Watched a sincere video on LinkedIn by someone I used to work with, clearly using AI for sloppy graphics and text. Descended into uncontrollable giggles when this typo came up

A SKLEATON RISIN UP OUT OF DA GRAVE 2 REMIND YOU THAT DA A.I SHIT THATS GOING AROUND NOW IS DA SAME AS EVERY OTHER COMPUTER SCAM , AND THE BEST ITS GOT AFTER TRILLION'S OF DOLLARS OF MONEY AND SO MANY COMPUTERS THAT WE HAD TO OPEN NEW POWER PLANTS TO RUN THEM , IS : 1. VIDEO'S OF PEOPLE WHO ARE MOVING AROUND SLOWLY IN A WEIRD WAY, 2. PHOTO'S OF JESUS WHERE HES IN A SHOPPING MALL WITH THE PRESEDENT, 3. CODE THAT DOSENT WORK, 4. INCORRECT SUMMARY OF INFOMATION THAT YOU PASTE INTO IT, 5. NOW DUMB GUYS THINK THAT THE COMPUTER IS SAD OR SMART!!! THERE ALL BAD BUT THE WORST PART IS THAT THE WORST GUYS IN THE WORLD ARE MAKEN A SHIT LOAD OF MONEY OFF OFF IT AND IT DOESNT EVEN WORK, ANYWAY THE TEXT SAYS " REMEMEBER NFT'S? SORT OF? NOT REALLY? THE SAME GUYS WHO MADE THAT BULLSHIT ARE NOW TELLIN US AUTO COMPLETE IS INTELEGENT AND IT HAS FEELINGS" - DASHARE.ZONE ADMIN

"AI" - dashare.zone ADMIN

a marketing email featuring the following items: Peanut butter £1390 Domestic sludge £1100 Platinum crucible £1410 The Belly Button mini-orbital shaker £1060

I clicked one of the sponsored ads in my gmail inbox and ???

BBC News headline: Who is Robert Prevost, the new pope?

Yes

“chicago pope” is one of the shows jack donaghy greenlit when he was tanking nbc

Wikipedia Robert Francis Prevost Redirect to Pope Leo XIV The only text on the page reads poopbutt

thank you Wikipedia

Ilya Zakharov mid-air wearing a speedo, holding his knees to his chest and clenching the muscles in his face and neck

imagine if you won an olympic gold medal and the only freely-licensed photo wikipedia could find for your article was this

This is incredibly powerful from the WHO’s Emergencies Director, Dr Mike Ryan, on the world doing nothing as the children of Gaza die.

“This is an abomination.”

(🎥 Middle East Eye)