Craphound

But um they did get the moose out? If this simile persists I may lose hope.

Listen sweet arms don’t sweet arms themselves you gotta work

I’m bringing the Kraft Singles again Kay

why is Bill Belichick still working doesn't he have a wife to raise

I honestly love that in the utter dumpster fire of civilization we’re currently enduring “Bill Belichick” is still the top trending thing on here

I didn't lose my mind, it's free derange.

[dog park]

DOG OWNER: which one is yours

ME: i haven’t decided yet

To paraphrase Charlie Pierce "How bad does your policy have to be to put the insurance industry on the right side of a moral issue?"

so many dead canaries and we just keep on mining

Why don’t we find out and then we can fuck around, has anyone tried that order of operations?

utah police wisely choosing not to show the bullet casing that says ‘if you read this you are gay’ bc they know it would instantly turn the country gay

Narrator: midway through her 75 minute wait for ice cream, Ms. Bangs realized she had missed her appointment.

I wish this list worked like the GHIN model and we could drop the two worst comps (looking at you Pena and Sele)

Unrelated, why is Sele autocorrected to Adele and not Pele in this context?

#freeyoga

Even when falling, always remember your jazz hands.

Carlos Rodon has thrown 3 strikes total tonight and is winning #redsox #mlb

Apparently “walking into public restrooms immediately after someone’s pooped in them” is not an acceptable “special skill” ice breaker for work gatherings. Whack.

Mike Timlin was nails and an hilarious guy. I once watched him taunt a drunk Oakland As fan mercilessly from the roof of the dugout until the guy got hauled off while Timlin smiled and waved. Highest comedy.

Get in loser, we’re losers. This is the loser bus

Who decided to call it August weather rather than Welcome Back Hotter?

Just wanted to tell all the really smart, funny, caring and diligent folks on here that I appreciate you. While I rarely have meaningful time to spend here, the minutes I do spend brighten my life.

Too tired to put the extra characters in bravo for this but know I thought about it

Eating my feelings, just had a huge bowl of Ragin' Bran

I think failing vision was intended to cover this but nnooooo science

After telling myself some brilliant lies and living in denial, it has come to my attention that I hate everything.

Oh really McDick, Tits?

Quick press it between the pages of your favorite Judy Blume book

(this is admittedly lame I appreciated the sentiment but was rushing)