Simon Harris

who?

Yes, I wish there was a way of putting multiple feed profiles on your account so you can switch between keeping up to date with current affairs, or to an ‘only show me models’ or whatever profile.

Any chance of him getting so annoyed those cerebral blood vessels pop?

Hey, I pay my council taxes, so I'm legally entitled to hang whatever I like from any lamp-post in town. It says so in the Magna Carta, or something!

If our local one is anything to go by, you missed out the words 'upside down' in that sentence.

At least with Reach the ads get in the way before you have a chance to be misinformed.

A pack of 9 rolls of toilet paper (200 sheet/roll) is 13 x 36 x 29.4 cm, according to Amazon. You could fit 1000 toilet rolls into 1.6 cubic metres. How small is this box room?

The only one I'd be tempted to buy is based on the Italian town of Monopoli.

Yes, there is one. I have been there, and that stretch of Puglia is lovely.

It always surprised me that he gave Woking Pizza Express as his alibi. Burger King would have been more appropriate. After all, it is famous for being 'The Home Of The Whopper'.

That looks like it belongs in a Francis Bacon triptych!

I'm not sure that it is a particularly unwritten rule as 'Stand on the right' is actually written on many London Underground escalators.

and Parsons Green to East Putney would best be described as in the air.

I hope they put enough spares on the sprue to cover the ones that inevitably get sacrificed to the carpet monster.

I'm still using the CD player I bought in 1987, and speakers from 1983.

My phone is dying after almost 6 years.

Orange is the new Ermine

Netflix are now producing a spinoff series of The Crown...

Prisoner Cell Block H R H.

From my office window during lockdown I could see the helipad of the local hospital. Watching the air ambulances coming and going was an interesting diversion.

It is sorted - into two categories.

Litter: everything you put in the bin bags.
Not Litter: everything you didn't put in the bin bags.

We’ve gone on a cruise by mistake

Your friends may not have actually said anything, but they have all conspired to move house, so if you plot your running route past all their new houses it looks like a giant cock.

Whenever I see more than 1 Chinook fly over, I assume there's a coup in progress.

I suppose many developing world countries use different languages to English and wouldn’t say ‘Embed’ anyway.

You went on a date with Hannah Hampton?

We'll be seeing 'Fesses in Anon_Opin next.

Is it black, or is it just very, very, very, very, VERY, dark blue?

I say it like 'Town-dle', but without the T.

I hope they had the nous to record it and stick it on a cart to immortalise your drivetime dump.

The washing machine timer is down to 0:01

It’s been on 0:01 for 10 minutes now.

I thought it was a sneaky double meaning with a reference to the sitcom 'Birds of a Feather' and their Jewish neighbour Dorien (played by Lesley Joseph) and her fondness for younger men.

I see what you did there!