Cranberry Smith

And thats why we had to kill Bin Laden.

Play that fuckass music, white boy.

That just means she loves you and your joke was so funny she peed herself a little but didn't want you to see so she threw you out to not embarrass herself.

A picture of ET dead in the river.

He didn't get a job and now he's dead.

Which one is Armand Hammer again? I dont remember.

I'll think of items 9-1 later.

Matryoshka dolls painted to look like Michael, Pam, and other characters from The Office.

Cranberry Smith's top 10 Christmas gift ideas:

Number 10: The Office themed Matryoshka dolls

www.etsy.com/listing/6494...

STEWpid for STEW

Watch it buddy. I'll tuck you out.

Quark!

Yeah I saw him shooting his own application up his veins. Tragic.

Drinking and fucking. Do you mind?

Happy Halloween from your favorite guy with the hollow ween.

Ah fuck, it finally finished😩

Is it normal to feel anguish and agony from an unsatisfying baseball game that never ends? I feel like I'm being edged to death.

Smegma ass beef.

Arby's on A tier? Might as well be eating a male stripper's unwashed ass

Thanks Skip! Glad to be back.

Your sister must be one hot mess then💅

I gotta new phone. My old one fell into the toilet over at Best Buy and now it lives there.

You're very purple. More purple than most people. Just not as purple as me :)

My milkshake business (The Yard) got shut down after multiple DUIs were traced back to the shop.

No one warned me about how much vanilla extract was too much.

She's got it. Yeah baby, you got it.

I'm your penis

I'm on fire!

STDs are dire.

Did you know a baseball used to be a severed testicle the Romans would throw around before the discovery of rubber?

Excuse me, my goose hasn't even been cooked yet. I'm still in the middle of plucking it, but it keeps biting me.

What the fuck is a mastodon? Is that something I can put on my penis?

Im really touched by this.

Women and their bras! Maybe they should trade those bras for some jockstraps!

She was absolutely wasteful. I'd buy a lobster to slowly eat throughout the week, and she'd say, "get the disgusting fucking thing out of the freezer, you're making the house smell like shit." Well excuse me for not wanting to spend money on breakfast, lunch, and dinner every other day.

Who doesn't love eating a baby? They say, "How can you eat a baby? How could you?" But I eat baby back ribs and baby carrots, so what difference does one baby really make-