nose

I was dreaming about a 4” pizza. If only that were possible

I’m going down the rabbit hole

11:55 PM googling “beige”

the LOVE sculpture in jfk plaza, covered in snow

a snow covered path lined with trees on the ben franklin parkway

rodin’s “the thinker” covered with snow

the general washington statue outside the art museum

took a BLIZZARD WALK out on the parkway, saw some things

Oh “Lassie” like a girl. I bet Lassie was a girl dog

For the semiquincentennial pro sports leagues
should make all shorts/pants look like acid washed denim

This is the new cellar door

It’s so gross when families hoard all the lmfao

So grateful for the world’s patience while she finished enough of high school

Probably just going to try to email redfoo & see if they still have theirs

The time has come. Texting my niece & asking if she’s ready to start LadiesMFAO with me

There’s no need for me to look up whether “Jimmy Fallon once shot one of his writers in the leg” was just in my dream. I’ll assume that’s real

Maybe instead of going live we should going love. This one’s for valentines

Someone mentioned Laura loomer to me. I don’t think what’s on our screens should be brought into real life like that

Catcalled while wearing cargo sweatpants. Not smart. How do you know I don’t have a gun in one of these pockets. A few guns. A gun for every pocket maybe

RIP to the other two, you WILL strike again

I saw what happened with Richard Lewis

If you tell me about some dumbass bet you made I don’t need to see receipts. I believe you. Let’s just get this interaction over with

When I don’t post for a few days I am still on here 14 hours a day hiding muting and blocking

They are failing to connect now . There is more truth in this. I feel mad & comfortable

When dogs get excited about me putting on a hat or sunglasses that’s not because it means we’re going outside, it’s that I look cool. They are fangirling.

What if using earbuds that didn’t automatically pause when they fell out of my ears was the only thing keeping me humble. I mean it feels right. The music & actually the world should wait for me now that I think about it

(Seeing grass) Whoa I was just thinking about grass

Washing your hands is like a little vacation

As a pedestrian if a car doesn’t let me cross I want them to see me appearing to cast a spell on them if they look in the the rear view

Incredible probably new & old at the same time

I love when water tastes brand new. Someone should bottle new water

I don’t invest in characters’ journeys ever since one died

I can tell a splash fight is off the table