Dan Bratton 🇺🇦

He gets a pizza on BAFTA, should be grateful.

Interesting time to find out my Mum shares a birthday with Prince Andrew.

take a shot every time you hear the words "just glad the queen isn't here to see this"

Cat from Red Dwarf informing is it's pancake day, yes it's pancake day, yes it's p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p pancake day!

IYKYK. 🥞

Pancakes with banana and Dubai style chocolate spread. Slightly off trend as usual.

I mean, who actually want this?

Genuinely can’t see that this is the fault of the NHS. It’s not like they can compel parents to get their kids vaccinated.

That Ozempic burn is objectively funny though.

Yes, that’s my take. “Isn’t it time you went home for a lie down, sir?”

Thanks - will give that a shot!

Ok, I’ll bite. I enjoy crisps and soup. How do you combine these two hobbies?

Don’t tell him Pike! From Dad’s Army

Double luge is the least dignified of all the winter sports.

Cllr David Wimble, Reform Cabinet member for economic development at Kent County Council, says he might defund Margate's Turner Contemporary Gallery to spite the local MP Polly Billington.

someone sent this to me with "saw this and thought of you" and the thing is, they weren't wrong

Yep - another vote here for wild bikes.

Yeah, I’m not suggesting you should landfill them once after a kid outgrows them of course, but I can see why people buy cheaper alternatives.

Frog bikes are expensive, and there’s not much point spending a lot on a kids bike because they grow out of them fairly quickly.

And there’s a lot of them as well.

Fuck no

SSE Airtricity I Account Balance h Submit Meter Read * Retrieve Top-up Code I would like to disconnect my gas supply 09:47J/ I'm really sorry you're feeling this way, but I'm not equipped to help with this. It's important to talk to a mental health professional or reach out to a trusted person in your life for support. @ Message U 09:47

An attempt to disconnect our gas connection earlier today👇
SSE Airtricity’s AI chatbot is going a little out of scope 😬

I watch this every time it pops up and it still makes me laugh every time.

God forbid men should have hobbies.

I’m not saying we don’t hoover enough, but I got the Henry out today and a mouse jumped off it.

Fortunately we had three ten year old girls in the room at the time, which really helped to dial back the drama 🙄

God, that’s fucking tragic.

Green Party by-election bar chart claim is misleading – Full Fact An image shared by the party and its leader Zack Polanski claims figures from a projection show “only the Greens can stop Reform” in Gorton and Denton, even though the model suggests Labour will win.

The Green Party has claimed figures from a projection show “only the Greens can stop Reform” in Gorton and Denton.

This is misleading. The model cited suggests Reform and the Greens will increase vote share the most, but currently projects a Labour win.

Dr Vanessa Saliba, Consultant Epidemiologist at UKHSA, said: 'Infections can return quickly when childhood vaccine uptake falls; elimination is only possible if all children receive two MMRV doses before school. Older children and adults who missed vaccination must be caught up. The NHS is making vaccination easier, including offering the second MMRV dose earlier at a new 18-month appointment to boost uptake and support elimination goals.'

UKHSA responds to the confirmation from @WHO that the UK has lost its measles elimination status.

Read more from WHO here: https://bit.ly/3YZuOFa

Liz Truss waiting patiently by her phone for Reform to ring, not realising it's actually a penguin biscuit

Reform Party 🤝Your mum

Of course it’s a bloody Tesla.