I’m a bitch
I’m a boss
I’m a bitch I’m a boss and I smell like moss
I’m a bitch
I’m a bo

He has the possibility to do the funniest thing ever.

(Like, I have no idea what goes on in the room where it happens, but surely somebody is legit reaching out to Cape Verde right now trying to get a pre-WC tuneup friendly scheduled for next year, right?)

(And the others, while also very unlikely, are still a good idea. We want those relationships.)

So when are we getting an Austin FC/Sassuolo/Saint-Étienne/Real Betis/Palmeiras/Cape Verde friendlies series?

Cause let’s be honest, that would just be a good time. Even if we get our asses kicked a bunch.

(Plus, building relationships with a bunch of top flight teams is never a bad idea)

#VHLM

Pretty sure Austin FC fans are obligated to cheer for Cape Verde.

(As are Blåhaj owners I guess, lol)

I could never be a stadium DJ cause our rivals would come to town and I’d just be playing stuff like *I Am Gonna Claw (Out Your Eyes Then Drown You To Death)*, *Punch ‘Em In The Dick*, and *Takedown* (the Huntrix version, obvs)

The architects of the Spanish Inquisition thought Columbus was too cruel and extreme.

two anime girls are driving a red car with the number 0000 on the dashboard ALT: two anime girls are driving a red car with the number 0000 on the dashboard

I wish my depressive episodes had more ✨sparkle✨ like I want a sad saxophone playing in the background of my internal monologues like an old school anime

YouTube video by LoadingReadyRun Son of a Bitch [HD]

Impossible to pick just one, but there’s something truly magical about Son Of A Bitch. Matt’s performance is a thing of beauty. youtu.be/4UoNB_yuQTc

Match winner.

lol, only 4 players got a 7+ raising on whoscored last night (Wolff 7.7, Stuver 7.3, Desler 7.1, BHI 7.0)

Really want to rewatch that match, I feel like there’s probably some interesting stuff to break down that is going overlooked due to the “nobody did anything effective” narrative

We’re only halfway through the 2025 CFB regular season, and it’s clear we’re headed to a full-on coaching carousel bloodletting.

Supposed institutions of “higher learning” have managed to negotiate themselves into paying $200 million to people who will no longer be working for them.

thank god the red zone channel started running commercials. when it was commercial-free i'd get to 7:30 p.m., look at how i'd spent my day, and realize i'd burned through an entire sunday without growing or developing at all as a consumer. and if i'm not a consumer i'm nothing at all

Idk bro it doesn’t seem that common when you have a chill fanbase and a competent stadium staff. In fact it’s very, very rare. Ask me how I know.

‘TRON: ARES’ has earned $14.3M in its opening day at the domestic box office.

For comparison, ‘MORBIUS’ opened to $17.3M.

Some #AustinFC nuggets heading into tomorrow:

-Austin has scored first in the last 3 MLS matches vs. LAFC

-Ilie is 3-0 this year vs. his former MLS clubs. He has never lost against a former MLS employer (8-0-2t all comps).

-Austin is 5-1-1t against California teams (all comps) in 2025.

yes i agreed to be the guy in your dunk tank but that was when i thought it was like, a basketball mech

Hell yea, I knew there was a reason we were friends

Look, I’ll hold up my hands and admit I was wrong, I underestimated the power of Etsy witches.

I really hope that Etsy witch gets a WS ring

mariners won

Seeing a commissioner get booed in any sport is always heartwarming.

100% this. I have no idea how they make a full set out of this.

🏒🦑🎉

[bene gesserit voice] no worries if not

"the girlfriend of one of the founders of antifa"

Weird Al.

I’m 100% serious.

He is to lyrics as Steph Curry is to 3s

Weird Al. The lyrical work he’s done *with other people’s music* is untouchable.

If they’re 1-4, then a guy on the bench is *exactly* what they want people talking about, they don’t want their real problems blasted on espn every morning