STATLER; "This funeral is so boring, I'm jealous of the guy in the coffin! Ah ha ha ha ha!"
[Statler turns to the empty chair next to him and sheds one tear]

Detective Columbo stands behind a wooden table with two irregular cow tools in it. He holds a 3rd cow tool and looks at it with his other hand scratching his head. He says, "Gee these tools are really something, aren't they? Y'know, my wife, she says they lack sophistication. But I just think that adds to the charm... Say... Don't they usually come in a set of four?" Caption below the panel reads, "Cowlumbo tools."

POV: you've committed the perfect crime, disposed of the weapon and and hidden the body, but now you arrive back at your pasture to find you are well and truly fucked.

Dog with bin bag and string of sausages

Our dog found an actual string of sausages today! I thought that only happened in The Beano 😆

Novels are just comics consisting of one picture and an overwritten caption.

Threads thread going: Sara: "I'm halfway done with my second piece. 4 more to go." Picture of unfinished knitting project. Fiona: Whatcha makin? Sarah: None of your business given I don't know you nor do I want to

Current main character on Threads. Everyone is now posting knitting projects saying they're none of your business.

Nighthawks on Steam The secret is out. Vampires have been exposed to the world… and you’re one of them. Seize the night as a modern monster, stepping out of the shadows to build a thriving nightclub empire through fear, ...

Steam Next Fest, aka 'please play the demo of the game I've been working on for what feels like forever'. Apologies for the number of links I'll probably be making to this this week. store.steampowered.com/app/1221950/...

Genuinely thought this was nice until I got to the photo

Whyyyyyyyy is this a thing

A Simpsons screengrab, edited so it looks like Smithers is cowering and covering his eyes to avoid looking at a twerking Biffo.

If you want more information on farming and farmers, please scan this ooh-arr code.

A one-star review from a Texan tourist visiting Liverpool: freddytexan (16 reviews) “My wife and I visted Liverpool for our 30th wedding anniversary from Texas. Our evening was ruined when a man dressed as an adult baby called my wife a "Mad yank slut" because she'd never heard of a band called Steps.”

What makes you proud to be British? For me, this is right up there.

wipeout on the orient express

The picture from the quoted post -- a dog with a shotgun mic (ie. one with a long thin barrel) pointing towards it -- with the HUD from DOOM superimposed at the bottom.

I don’t want a surprise.

Just flown in from Riyadh, and boy are my excuses tired

Caitlin Flanagan @CaitlinPacific I’ve missed hearing Woody Allen’s voice - I’d been so rattled this week and there he was, his full self. ⁦ @bariweiss ⁩ is the perfect interviewer. She seemed almost like a daughter to him - in a way she is. We all are. Order Life with Baum!

like a daughter to him

Disgusted barbie

edited comic panel. Batman is breaking a lump-with-handle cow tool over his knee and saying "this is the tool of the cow. we do not understand it. we will not use it."

it's not FOR us

reading about this riyadh comedy festival thing. genuinely astonished that comedians, *stand up comedians*, chose a fck load of money over doing the right thing. this isn't the behaviour i have come to expect from the comedy world, a notoriously upstanding and moral industry.

PiMan jumpscare

Drake:

A screenshot of the Spectrum 128k version of Rasputin's intro.

It really is -- just look at him! #hot

Went to see The Smashing Machine tonight; still can’t stop myself mentally adding “Gromit” to the end of the title

On an evening bus out of Worcester. A stoned passenger is sitting on the back seat, playing a flute. The driver just audibly muttered "When the fuck is Tom Bombadil getting off my bus".

We journey on, into the darkness. With musical accompaniment.

A card for a game with the caption “Side step to the left”, and a drawing demonstrating the same

SIMON NOOOOOO

A Simpsons screengrab of Troy McClure in an educational film talking to a child. He is saying: “If a printer ever got the chance it’d eat you and everyone you care about.”

The box art for the 1986 Firebird game Rasputin. The branding that shows it’s part of the label’s HOT range is just above the game name, so it effectively reads “HOT Rasputin”.

Same goes for Russia’s greatest love machine

The “sick foreigner” option amended to read “sick o”.

yes… ha ha ha… YES

Screenshots from the film Pacific Rim with the captions lightly edited to be about Starlink reentries instead of Kaiju. Scientist Hermann Gottlieb (played by Burn Gorman) points at formulae on a chalkboard and says: “In the beginning the Starlink reentries were spaced apart 24 weeks. Then 12, then 6, then every 2 weeks. The last one in Sydney was a week. In 4 days we could be seeing a reentry every 8 hours until they are coming every 4 minutes. We should witness a double event within seven days.”

that escalated quickly