BOO! I AM DOGG

"This Candle Smells Like My Festering Spiritual Abscess"

pam bondi is a sentient yankee candle in which resides the spirit of Morgoth

my kitten is a criminal in furry pajamas

Happy birthday, @twosense.bsky.social! ✨️🎈🎉🎊🎂🍾🥂

Whenever you feel alone remember that there are a lot of people in your life that can barely tolerate you but they do anyway

Wait, are we playing Rapture Remix today?

[some excuse 13 days blah blah blah calendar mix up blahblahblah]

Anyway, gonna need two more DPS, a tank, and a healer if we're gonna run this Rapture Remix dungeon.

I’ve met very few dressings I can tolerate but I can and have drunk gyoza, chili crisp, and spicy peanut sauce straight out of the container like a beverage and I will do it again

Guys guys guys…

If a sexy lady or her alt allows you to follow her, be respectful. This isn’t difficult. Don’t assume she wants you in her DMs. Don’t demean her or suggest that she show or do more. Just be grateful. Your horniness does not give you license to be an entitled prick. Do better

Nah. I like you.

She's called mom

Beaker and his online crush got together, call it a meep cute

Don't forget the cum!

bluesky is where one goes to stay up to date on current events if you like your daily news dripping with sarcasm and maybe some fondue

*lilting fiddle music*
My dear,
I can almost smell your cherry pop-tarts in the toaster as I don my camo and black gaiter for another skirmish. The inflatable frog is a relentless foe, but we fight on against his terrible wokeness. If I should die, cradle my broken head on dem fine ass tiddies.
Jack

If you can smell red wine after orgasm you are having a post-nut claretty moment.

We Springsteen fans have been here — Taylor’s next album will be quiet songs about Midwestern serial killers and other desperate losers accompanied only by acoustic guitar

there's a conspiracy theory going around that actually Travis Kelce wrote the songs on the new Swift album that everyone seems to hate and torn between stop making excuses everyone does bad work at some point and these are the sort of conspiracies we need as a society

A burrito in every tummy and a fart in every truck

Top of my list if I was president. Burrito babies for all.

@twosense.bsky.social for President

looking down-tree at leaves gone red above the bright green grass sprinkled with fallen leaves, the tree truck on the lower left.

when autumn has fallen upon the treetops but not yet crept across the grass

Ernest Does Bukkake

🩷

I don't generally think of myself as adventurous but one time I ordered a drink that was half cold brew half lemonade

Recycling old sexual fantasies like ahoy old friend!

I'm genuinely starting to think that the people who say they want to see American's really fight back are really saying they want a specific kind of visible, stereotypical depiction of protest, and have zero zero tolerance for the kind of groundwork it takes to make change happen.

Baby kitty Buster the fresh boy detective stretching his whole body out on a bed with a floral blanket

On the advice of legal counsel ( @carnitas.bsky.social ) I have decided to follow the urges... Exhibit A
The long boi Buster with the big stretch

Girl, are your opinions mushrooms because that was a shiitake

comic from webcomicname.com, "different" panel 1: pink blob creature: "I want things to be different" panel 2: creature smashes everything panel 3: creature stands in wreckage: "oh no"

as always, the most accurate summation of modern politics ever created