antifabowser

From a distance you retain the respectable image of someone who would never display the word f•ck *uncensored*, but to inquisitive minds you reveal that you do in fact display the word fuck uncensored. It's having your cake and eating it too.

well after this I was thinking I'd sleep for one, maybe two hundred years. These interviews really take it out of me. ah ah ah.

getting kind of emotional about this

A Calvin & Hobbes comic in which Calvin and his father are having the following conversation: Calvin: Why does the sun set? Dad: It's because hot air rises. The sun's hot in the middle of the day, so it rises high in the sky. In the evening then, it cools down and sets. Calvin: Why does it go from east to west? Dad: Solar wind. After this conversation Calvin's mom interjects from out of frame: "Dear!"

Wheat wedges

one of the few times when Calvin's dad isn't full of shit

I've been saying this! Molemen are an underserved demographic and they deserve the same rights as terrestrials! Get in now before the "death to the surface dwellers" party locks that voting block down.

people need to remember the American self-image of being anti-nazi started because they were the enemy in a war. People think we fought the Nazis because we hate them but it's the other way around. We hate them because we fought them and the American propaganda machine works.

is this a separate system from sandwich artistry?

YMMV

there are lots of reasons it's a bad thing that he did that, but I just do not care about the Whitehouse as an American icon. Like that's so far down my list of reasons it sucks. I look at it and it gives "built by enslaved people" vibes.

Online dating can suck my wad. Not looking for any of these normal losers. I need someone mentally ill

real ones know a pizza sandwich is two slices stacked cheese side in filled with triple toppings

cat: 298

L'automate / The automaton - 1928
https://botfrens.com/collections/61/contents/3112474

buddy if you figure that out let me know, i got nothing

I don't really think this constitutes a non-sequitur in that it's clearly continuing an existing conversation being had about the guardian. More importantly, your comedic response to a serious issue is poorly timed and reflects poorly on you; many reading it will assume you're transphobic.

no, but it's actually pretty tough to acquire the stuff raw. I know a guy if you're looking.

(Guy sitting on the couch) My world is fire and blood

I have never in my life heard someone refer to feces as a loaf. I also haven't heard many people say blueberry lemon loaf, they typically say blueberry lemon bread. We must live in different places.

I was attacked by members of antifa for the “crime” of using colorful language in support of the president. one antifa distracted me by donning an alluring outfit while another subtly undid my belt so my trousers fell around my ankles. when I attempted to give chase, the unthinkable happened

my balls have been STOLEN

just placed a deadly new virus inside an easily breakable glass container

Oh Robert Baker in 1770, did you know what hell you hath wrought on the minds of pedants for 100s of years to come?

mastering the headspin

as you get older you realize that sex is like, whatever, but the intimacy and human connection you get from sharing yourself with a loving partner is also like, whatever

NPC in Pokémon Legends Z-A: "There are male Pokémon, female Pokémon, and even Pokémon with unknown genders."

NPC in Pokémon Legends Z-A: "Just like people, Pokémon vary wildly. Their gender can be male, female, or unknown."

wokémon

Yes, the headstones are suspiciously close to each other. Did you come here to throw your measuring tape around, or do you want to save some money?

ME: if a dog gets loose you call a dogcatcher so if a cat gets loose you should call a catdogcher

911: umm okay