Greg's Not Food Account

Please be nice to me, it's my birthday year.

- Terrible dancers
- Bad at sex
- Gross to look at
- Smell like feces
- Hate anyone who doesn't look just like them
- Can't hear even the mildest criticism without flying into a rage
- Dumber than most rocks
- Friendly with pedophiles
- Illiterate
- Vain despite being deeply unattractive
- etc

A lot of Americans identify with Donald Trump, which is worrying on too many levels to count.

My reaction to that completely batshit press briefing by Tulsi Gabbard in which she accused Obama of “treasonous conspiracy” is that whatever is in the Epstein files about Trump must be really really bad

watch a white house news conference without screaming, "I FUCKING HATE YOU! I WISH YOU WERE DEAD! I WOULD PAY TO ENSURE IT'S PAINFUL!" challenge oh no i lost

Markwayne Mullin @SenMullin I'm all for transparency w/ Epstein files. What I'm NOT interested in is a gotcha game from @SenateDems pretending to "care" after 4 years of lies & cover-ups. Those with legit questions, fine. But let's call THIS for what it is- pure theater from a party that hates Trump. Brian Tyler Cohen @briantylercohen "I'm all for transparency with the Epstein files which is why I blocked a vote to compel the release of the Epstein files."

Senator markwanyederpdorp, the only US Senator without a college degree, is as good an argument for dissolving Oklahoma (either in the courts or with acid) as I've ever seen.

It
Hasn't
Even
Been
Six
Months
Yet

before we jump to any conclusions, maybe theres a legitimate reason he wrote cryptic little love notes to the worlds most famous pedophile

They were too busy owning the libs to make sure they weren't electing (TWICE!) a dementia-riddled pedophile? No. They didn't care then and they don't care now.

If someone tells you they voted for Trump, don't leave your kids alone with them for a second.

Trump's supporters are revolting.

In every sense of the word.

The last six months have been the longest eternal torture in the pits of hell of my life.

"Well then we should arrest Bill Clinton!"

Uh, ok. You think I give a shit about him? Arrest all the rapists, pedophile or otherwise, please. Famous people, nobodies, I don't care.

"Not Trump, though. Or the QB of my alma mater. Or the youth pastor at my church. Or..."

Exactly.

I'm not jonesing for a civil war, but it's going to be real hard to achieve any kind of national unity when a good chunk of the population only cares about child rape if it can be used as a cudgel against their political enemies.

So the rapist who was friends with the pedophile sex trafficker would like everyone to stop talking about how he broke his promise to release the pedophile sex trafficker's client list because the rapist is on the list of clients.

And people are still divided?

There are innumerable things to dislike about Karoline Leavitt, but one that doesn't get mentioned enough is that she always looks like she just took her dentures out.

Remember when people complained there were too many great TV shows and not enough time to watch them all?

The dilemma now is there are too many people worth hating and not enough bile to vomit on them.

People have got to stop calling Sean Duffy a reality TV star. That's an insult to Puck.

"Do they at least look like my daughter?"
- Donald Trump

It's disorienting living in the Wile E. Coyote portion of a country's life cycle. We ran off the cliff but haven't plummeted down yet. We're just now starting to hold up the big YIKES sign

There's nobody crazier than a famous person who got slightly less famous.

Dear God,

Greg Abbott says prayer works, so here I am, praying for him to lose control of his wheelchair right into some raging floodwaters.

Amen.

Pam Bondi in February: The Epstein client list is sitting on my desk right now to review.

Pam Bondi today: There is no Epstein client list and no "further disclosure" of Epstein-related material "would be appropriate or warranted."

Nothing says MAGA like being obsessed with Epstein's pedophile pals until it is very clear Trump was one of them, at which point they all say, "Well...those kids were asking for it."

Still no chin, though.

I think we all agree that JD Vance needs to be drowned.

The only thing that unites Oklahomans is the aftermath of a deadly tornado, and even that only lasts a week or so.

New political party aims to unite Oklahomans, dubbed the Sooner State Party A new political party is launching in Oklahoma, dubbed the Sooner State Party.The group's message is, no more red, no more blue, just Oklahomans charging forwa

If you think Elon's America Party idea is dumb (and it is), get a load of what's happening in Oklahoma.
ktul.com/newsletter-d...

Unless the very top of the America Party agenda is firing Elon Musk into the sun, I don't think it'll take off.

"You shouldn't laugh at people who voted for Trump when he hurts them."

Don't worry, I'm also laughing at people who think morons will stop touching the stove when they get burned. They were already burned and voted to hug the stove for four years. I'm going to laugh as long as I can.

The fact we have secret police whisking people off the streets doesn’t get enough attention. It ain’t normal and we’re further down the road to authoritarianism than you think.