Scott

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Someone at Labcorp needs to tune in to the news. NO ONE’s liver is healthy these days.

Being a veteran is about a shared experience like no other. Even if you had a very easy job like being a radio DJ on a tropical paradise or something. Proud to have served alongside some of the finest people I’ve ever met and known … as well as some other questionable characters.

Real evergreen trees look on in horror as I ritually decorate a replica of their cousin that I keep stored in a box in my attic.

Clips like this are political gold

I too am seeking a $1 trillion pay package.

Please raise your hand if that, “extra” hour of sleep did it for you and you’re finally completely and entirely rested.

“Look, kid. Broccoli is nature’s candy. Take it or leave it.”

“I want you to draw me like one of your North Pole girls.” - this Wayfair inflatable, probably, to Santa

This just in: Fun size Halloween candy is smaller and significantly less “fun” this year.

DC J6: 1.500 arrests
DC No Kings: zero

Tell me again which side is violent?

This is what democracy looks like. #NoKings

If you’re of a certain age, tell me about your favorite mall. Where is/was it located? What did you enjoy most about it? What was your favorite store there?

Just finished watching the new John Candy documentary, “I Like Me” via Amazon Prime Video. Really, really well done and worth the watch. My only complaint would be the ads asking me to add Doritos to my Amazon cart from my TV remote.

YouTube video by Crosby, Stills & Nash - Topic Southern Cross

For no particular reason, you have to choose a song to listen to on repeat for 30+ times. I have many I would consider but my current choice would be, “Southern Cross” by Crosby, Stills & Nash.

What would yours be?

youtu.be/IHL-6cUtZj0?...

For science, how many of you still own an iron – the one for taking wrinkles out of clothing – AND know how to use it?

increasingly convinced preventing americans from getting their little packages is the thing that will take this government down

Please tell me something interesting.

I hate it here.

Breaking News: People are insane.

Chris Murphy: "Our entire democratic experiment is going crumble if people don't believe they are safe when they express their political views."

I should have known better. I clicked on a Facebook ad for a local used car listing. Now I’m going to be followed by used car ads until the end of days. Why have you foresaken me, o gleamingly affordable SUV?!?!

🎯

I see the bears have found themselves an excellent PR agency.

Public service announcement for those heading back to work tomorrow after the long weekend: Don’t forget to turn your regular alarms back on. Also, Donald Trump is in the Epstein files.

Every October, we gather to celebrate Cameron and everyone like him with Down syndrome by walking. If you’re able, please join our Buddy Walk team or donate!
givebutter.com/dsnggbuddywa...

What was your favorite form of candy before antacids?

I feel this should be a bigger story, right?

I’m the proud holder of a B.A. in journalism. Someone with a similar background to mine had to craft this headline. And I pity them.

People who say things like, “Famous people always die in threes” simply lack either the capacity or imagination to count to four.