Allie Rouge

Aah childebeests. Smaller Human asked for a goodnight kiss. I leant down and his teeth clamped around my lips. 🤢

This keeps making me laugh.

I had a brain wave about this as it had been on my mind- maybe he heard that Pease Porridge nursery rhyme at school or on YouTube and that's where it entered his bizarre little brain.
Now I need to work out why he keeps telling people that his granny lives in a lighthouse.

TFIF
Small boy is crying because he doesn't want peas in his porridge.
No one is giving him peas in his porridge.

Free on the 4th and 5th September, and want to support a trans teen giving evidence against Graham Linehan? Good. Here’s how… #Trans #TransSky

Toddlebeast decided to name three witches in his bedtime book tonight- Flower Pot, Short Stack and Stewart. So that's canon now.

Trying out a new mobility scooter to take the kids to the park. Mostly enjoying whizzing past my husband with my middle finger up, when the kids aren't looking.

Oh No.

You are unusually proactive in your own self-improvement for a sad person.

Don't @ me about using Prime. I'm disabled, housebound and poor and need to order things for the cheapest price online. Ethical shopping is not easy for povos.

"Priscilla, Queen of the Desert" leaves UK Prime in 13 days. There's also a documentary on it there voiced by Terence Stamp.

Toddlebeast has decided he's afraid of bubble bath. "They're trying to get me."

Toddlebeast thinks Black Panther is called "Black Pants" and Captain America is "Carrot Merica". Someone inform the appropriate people of the changes.

I am not a beach person. Judging by the meltdown Toddlebeast had about there being sand on his hands, neither is he.

"Gas smells awful, you might as well live"?

Just for that, take this unholy Internetting.

I will never forgive the rotten bastards we have in charge. 14 years of things getting worse, a huge mandate to change things in a meaningful way, and what do they do? Go after marginalised groups for no fucking reason other than spite and appeasing the ghoulish press. A generational betrayal.

A comb of cat hair

I would really like it if Small Human would stop using my hairbrush on the cat.

Small Human was trying to sing, "Hot to Go" but bless her dyslexic brain, she's singing, "H-O-G-G-O-G-O".

Summer break, one week down.

Small Human: "Do you like this sound?" *munches popcorn directly in my ear*

Summer holidays day -1

A grasshopper on my makeup brushes.

Fuck off, you don't even have cheekbones.

She's an absolute star 🌟

Fuck the blue line.

Small Human tried out a cheerleading club this morning and has been like an exploding star, ever since they lifted her up in the air.
Showing my age by wondering when she'll be old enough to watch Bring it On.

I've just had an ice lolly dumped in my crotch by Toddlebeast and I am honestly ambivalent.

Fuck Labour, and fuck every piece of shit still defending them.

The Garbage music video for, "I'm Only Happy When It Rains"

Me: I like it when you're happy.
Toddlebeast: I like it when I'm sad.

Oh no.

I want to see non-disabled people shouting about the disability benefit cuts. If you spoke out about trans rights, abortion rights, or migrant rights in recent weeks? Good on you! If you aren’t doing the same for disabled people, ask yourself why.

Small Human just tried sparkling water for the first time and she cried.