ChatGPT talks to adults like it’s grooming them. Ohhhh wowwwww you’re so mature for your age. Nobody understands you.

I had to read this so many times to even see they are in fact two different words

Cancers in young people have gone up though, haven't they?

I forgot about bluesky for a while

Them: “Go big or go h-“

Me: *already back home

"We won’t even know about the new deaths, because all the data collection was supported by U.S.A.I.D." It will be years before we understand the size of this crisis--and we may only understand it when highly resistant forms of TB come home to roost in rich countries.

"Dream police" by Mk.gee sounds like this:

Garbage: I’m only happy when it rains

Me: (pulling the lid off the trash bin) who tf said that

I'm sorry I was so weird the other night that's how I am every night

This could also be about Downton Abbey, and very much is

I hate when tv shows get rid of the whole character when its actor decides to leave the show. (Yes this is about Gilmore Girls) (They could have let Lane have Dave if they just got a new actor 😫)

I used every single one. I don't think I had a favourite but the shell was my least favourite.

One thing about me is I’m gonna go lay down for a bit

🥺

This made me smile

Will someone please make me drink some water and limit my screen time

Going to bed, but like, violently.

Antilope

I promise to never "reflect on this transformative year and share some thoughts about what lies ahead" on linkedin or anywhere else

People with symmetrical eyebrows don't know how good they have it

A rap battle is two men writing poems about each other

Automatic screen brightness is so annoying when you've tried to set the brightness to where you want it and it keeps changing back. Like why are you arguing with me

I feel bad for them. What if they loved their friends and family back home? They'll never see them again

R.I.P. Lane Kim you would have loved Mk.gee

I wake up to realize that I have been given a precious gift: another day of life. And with that gift I vow to do what I always do: the two or three easiest things on my to-do list and also look at this phone all day.

Mk.gee is so good I just lhlfksgskhkf I want to scream

[handing a picture of a very healthy person to my doctor] so I was thinking something like this

Happy to announce that this week, at the age of 32, I saw a magic eye effect correctly for the first time in my life