Iggy Nip

Now, what if you give those mini burritos millepede legs?
#iamtheworst

BIG win finishing a very long term creative project today - FINALLY! And I fucking crushed it.
Victory is mine! Bring me the finest muffins and bagels in the land!

Sister company’s IT team is having their quarterly meeting in our office today and I’m ready to pitch a nutty. They’ve ignored every single direction they’ve been given and keep tapping their badges a billion times on the readers even though they were told they would not have any badge access. Halp.

Well, fuck.

Being awake right now is likely a mistake, but I’m committing to the bit.

Thoughts, prayers, and propane.

Don’t do it! It’s a trap!

I just wrote ‘February 29’ in an email four times when I meant ‘January 29’.
Out here absolutely slaying, kids. 🤦‍♀️

Me, having a pickle and popcorn for breakfast:
I’m a goddamn adult!

I am pretty much only good at this with movies released in the 90’s. It has little to no practical application.

It’s 18 degrees outside and I just remembered the three cases of canned seltzer I left in my car. What could go wrong? 😂😭

Blue and white plate with steak, turkey, cranberry sauce from a can, gravy, mashed, stuffing, green beans, and squash aka Thanksgiving gluttony

Listen. Thanksgiving with friends is the tits.

Thank you, baby!

I waaaaaaant

Sounds delicious 😍

Boooooo!!!

Ma’am, you don’t sound calmed by your chocolate soap… 🤔

Definitely soap

Tonight I found & shared w/ a friend a picture of myself from when I felt loved.
Then i sent it to myself as a reminder that the feeling still exists, & will again, even if I don’t feel it right now. It’s ok to set hope down for a minute, but don’t give it up.

I’m hungry but the cat is in my lap so I guess I’m just going to continue to be hungry for a while.

Happy belated birthday!! 💜

I just vacuumed my couch. I need to do that more often.

Hi!! What @sweetbabette.bsky.social said. Holler at me next time you’re in town. 🙂

This may be the first deep breath I’ve taken since April.

I would be worried about you if you didn’t

What odd and slightly unfortunate bagel shadow placement.

I managed to misplace a piece of toast this morning. No idea where I put it. That should be fun to find eventually. At least I hadn’t added any schmear yet!

Disclaimer: I am (allegedly) a full-fledged adult and just, like, *really* fucking sleepy.

‘What do you want to be when you grow up?’
I dunno… is ‘naps’ a career?

It’s wild that, even when your friends die, instagram continues to let you know that this is an account they follow that you may like.

New definition of ‘tinder bro’