Beverage Gourmand

Imagine the wizard goon seshes they were having with this telepathic globe shit

Keep telling my interns that they must become capable of great violence in order to reach heaven, none of them will even *try* kill me with a brick

Singing "fat chocobo" to the tune of "pink pony club" and everyone just thinks i have a new kind of autism

dude this party is such an echo chamber. it's just friends hanging out and chilling and having a good time. you need to invite some people over who want to kill you with hammers

????? WHAT DO I GET FOR THIS ONE

abcnews.go.com/US/pope-leo-...

5 year old methodically scrambling through the tube labyrinth at charles entertainment cheese, ritalin coursing through his veins, pissing his pants slowly: "no way out but thwough, no way out but thwough"

In my dictatorship circumcision would be a crime punishable by reverse circumcision (we put sew a bunch of skin back onto your penis)

Played industrial at work and an intern said "what kind of music is this ive never heard anything like this" bro this is how you get the goth bitches man, these are the songs of their people, its about how we're all rats in a cage knifing each other over stale crumbs sprinkled in by a callous god

They used to clean asphalt off of utensils with straight up piss. They would collect it in troughs at the local bar like an industrial byproduct of human life and spray it all over stuff like it helped the situation. Sometimes you get a chunk of road that smells like concentrated litter box

Having some shredded cheese (taco blend) melted across the surface of my mind, 700mg of caffeine dissolved in 8 oz of tea, on the side

it’s time to replace all doctors with ai

While I understand the political realities that have led to major companies jumping on the “anti-woke” bandwagon, it’s still disappointing to see Nintendo include Leisure Suit Larry as a pack-in game with the Switch 2

the hot single milfs in my area have organized and are open-carrying during their demonstrations

do the mac go hard tho

Ooh chuckie hornie??? 🥴

Not enough freaks and degenerates on this website. im tryna steep my aura in poison, train my psyche on demons, lose my shit telling ted cruz to end his own life in a public forum

Just learned about eating pussy... never too late in a game to become a better player huh... 🤯

Manifesting scott stapp losing sight of christ and getting addicted to lean, channeling negative energies like an evil medium dark oucomes

There are so many haters and im just tryna be nice with it

We got politicians in press conferences saying "we're all going to die" bro you cant be taking this country seriously

When i die, ill know ive reached heaven when i find the words of tumblr user "slimetony" etched in stone on the walls of the house of god

Calculators were the vangaurd of the machine god. We shoulda never externalized knowing from the locus of the body, now i gotta write an orange catholic bible

Virtue signaling is a funny concept. Dont these guys know that all being-in-the-world is a virtuous invitation to act as i do? If you witness me as i am, recieve it as me telling you to drink 400mg of caffeine and skip your meds, the goodness of my character is on full display, my posts are vatras

You think this is a game? Thats kind of scary man im really not good at those

Elden ring player entering the disgusting trash room of a bedbug-pocked bpd e-girl he met online, stench of decaying food and vomit lingering, going "woah youre like melania, and this is like your haligtree temple of rot" and getting rock hard like some sort of pavlovian dogboy

Having beers in the backyard with my homies and introducing them to my neighbors as my "special friends" just trying to feel something new

Tiktok gives you schizophrenia but thats just the technology metagame baby

lot of videos in my algorithm of people being mean to monkies and then giving them fruit. slowly being introduced to the concept of the tsundere, the poor bastards are going to build an oedipus complex out of sticks and rocks and abuse tactics. They must unite against this human menace or perish

Introducing the interns to the retro funk playlist and slapping them if they ask if we can play something else. Youre going to remember selfish high heels by heart, its part of your job

Everyone who has played world of warcraft since its inception through to its modern iteration is an honorary low tier bureaucrat of the second bush administration to me. You may as well have signed off on countless deaths like a little eichmann in ironforge