Frankenfreckle

Why go to a haunted house when you can stay at home, and conjure a demon that will stay locked into your mind forever.

Halloween should be 6 months with payed leave.

Who needs a partner, when you can snuggle a walking stick covered in sheep's blood.

Now that I take yoga, I can cry in all kinds of crazy positions.

Don't worry about floaters, it is just a spectral bride that has been hypnotizing you for years to do her bidding.

I have death bearing hips.

Sorry I can't hang out tonight, I'm making my two Nicolas Cage pillows kiss.

Normalize proposing to Edgar Allan Poe during a seance.

*Tries to put a fake mustache on a ladybug*

Super weird that my landlord won't let me pay him with bad vibes & ancient prophecies.

There should be more things for me to emerge from. Portals and shadows and weak sections of drywall. That sort of stuff. It would make my sudden appearance more fun for people.

Super weird they don't give u a college scholarship for absorbing ur twin in the womb.

even if he isn't dead, cremate him anyway

I would pay an insane amount of money to see Robert Smith get into a fist fight.

I will have an idiot off with u.

I also have curse bearing eyes.

I have death bearing hips.

Can't decide if i want to join a cult or a landfill.

Now that I take yoga, I can cry in all kinds of crazy positions.

*Aligning my chakras to death metal*

How am i supposed to communicate effectively when there isn't a bed ridden poltergeist emoji

lightning bolts are shooting out of my mood ring is that good

I love haunting, but you can't work from home.

Normalize proposing to Edgar Allan Poe during a seance.

Hmmmmm 100???????

How am I supposed to trust my instacart shopper after finding out they are not an interdimensional being trying to retrieve my third eye from Zed, a crafty mercenary from the 16th century.

Super weird they don't give u a college scholarship for absorbing ur twin in the womb.

Every toddler wearing a Ramones shirt is CIA