big beefy boy husband

Woke up married?! Crazy... Life of a wife guy doesn't get better than this

Protein Powders and Shakes Contain High Levels of Lead - Consumer Reports CR tests of 23 popular protein powders and shakes found that most contain high levels of lead.

my latest investigation for @consumerreports.org is based on months of reporting and 60+ lab tests of leading protein supplements

we found that most protein powders and shakes have more lead in one serving than our experts say is safe to have in a day (🧵)

www.consumerreports.org/lead/protein...

In 2 days I will be a LEGAL wife guy

Wait, in your butt or mine?

jess always tells me to check up my butt, maybe try that?

got stoned enough to understand the monty hall problem, might fuck around and get stoned enough to be able to explain it

If you round down that's TOMORROW

NO FUCKING WAY PLOT TWIST OF THE CENTURY !!!!!!!!!!!

Would bet money on guy who uses the word 'loyalty' a lot, refers to women 'females', tells his gf he was JUST ABOUT to do that chore that she finally did after a week of asking him

Best wishes in finding someone better suited to your and your dog's personalities :) sincerely, kick rocks

Only half a workday left until WEDDING VACATION

When I am president it will be ILLEGAL for da phone to say "are you sure you want to download this again?" without offering to open the old file. Like no I don't WANT to but I'm not digging through 6 months of screenshots of my friends cats to find the damn thing, help a guy out or shut the hell up!

We’re getting rid of leaf blowers by eating 50 leaves a day each. Get out there

it's pretty wild to be doing "stop being racist to my computer friend" discourse when the forces of Actual Racism are totally ascendant in government and inventing new ways to arrest people for their skin color every day

look im just sayin, i LOVED twitter. i SETTLED for bluesky

SAD AND UGLY !

Are we at a point yet where we can admit philly kinda cooked when they beat that roving clanker to death

Are we at a point yet where we can admit philly kinda cooked when they beat that roving clanker to death

First of all you shouldn't be allowed to be 63 and named Tyler ✋

I'll never get over the $100 price tag

I have 3 axioms that help me decide when to talk to people I disagree with:

1. To debate a subject is to concede that the subject is debatable.

2. To reason with a person is to concede that the person is reasonable.

3. To ask for evidence of a claim is to concede that the claim might be true.

We really need to stop treating these political post-mortems credulously. This did not happen. There is 0% chance she opposed the Gazan siege in any meaningful sense, and frankly if she did, this makes her look just as bad if not worse.

I should be excused from work with pay if enough people piss me off like how is this not a workers comp situation

you cannot "smolbeanify" the moral agency of millions of people who decided to enshitty the rest of the world, whether it be USAID, climate change, or whatever

👀

This just in, I'm being told that pre-selecting answers to common small talk questions (e.g. favorite movie/show/band) is not a universal human experience

I was informed of this when I told jess that "Juno is still my favorite movie because I haven't updated my answers to The Questions in a while"

i just can’t believe we haven’t figured out something better than a pap smear

Thank you I thought of it on the drive home and had to hold on to it for 2 whole hours