James Q Bingles Esq.

Booker is now a verb

thought I was watching joe rogan but it was just one of those rotating hot dogs at 7-11

… when in reality, it’s always Weezer time.

Simon, Roger, Nigel and Keith - the 4 Horsemen of the Crusty Pub Apocalypse

I’m not afraid of my shadow, I just don’t like that there is so much of it

Oooo lemons. I’ve had almost all the Vodka and Crippling Debt Tonics I can take

I am therefore I cargo short

I reckon they mean sassy

“People eat weird,” is the best advice that I’ve ever given my children

Pinkys out with a spork

I’m so alpha that I don’t wash the backs of plates

The specialty of the tiny hands guys

We gave helium to a parrot to hear if it talked funny but it just floated to the ceiling.

They only hit the floor when you start printing the dot matrix dick pics

I’m not colourblind but I try

Toe cramps can suck my balls

Do electricians call each other ohmies?

My dog shits like it’s his job that has healthcare, stock options and a sweet bonus package

If I was a supervillain I’d call myself The Juggler so that I had something to fall back on

Dogs on fire are called Barklers

I was one Arabesque away from being a Solid Gold dancer

Tariffs are the new 8 balls

Did they still tell him he was pregnant?

I don’t know I feel about bean dip

The last known Archibald died in 1936 at the London Zoo when his monocle fell off and he accidentally fell into the hippo enclosure

Is it just me or is there really an alarming lack of Nissan Jukes in rap videos ?

Just listened to the Wife on a 10 minute conference call and now I've had 854% of the recommended daily dose of acronyms

Searching on Google to find that class where old guys learn to expertly butt in line.

Currently trying to invent a generator that runs off old man ear hair