Paul Dennis

Wales's population identifies mostly as No Religion (46.5%).

Christian denominations now represent only 43.6%.

Islam is up to 2.2% from 1.5% in 2011.

Only 0.3% are Buddhists but this has doubled since 2001, according to the Dolgellau Lama.

#beliefmap
#religioninwales #faithstatistics

A scorpion is reading a philosophy book and reaches a river.
He convinces a frog to carry him across and of course stings him.

FROG
"Why?"

SCORPION
"To live is to suffer. To survive is to find some meaning in the suffering.”

FROG
"But why?"

SCORPION
"It's in my Nietzsche."

#nietzschenurture

Set Fire To Lorraine

#putawomaninasong

In 1939, Hans Bethe won a Nobel prize for proving nuclear fusion. In spite of this, many physicists then thought the sun shone out of his arse.
#alittlelightreading #physicsjokes

Happy Xmas Blue Sky babies!

#xmaspuzzles #brainteasers

Another way to deal with conflict is to distract those caught up in it with a harmless version of the same core issue.

So, cry havoc and let slip the dogs of war!

LIVE AND LET DIE IS A HALLOWEEN MOVIE!

How middle-aged people will die of old age.

1. "verify your age with PrivateId"
2. Scan QR code
3. "move your face into the circle"
4. Move face into circle
5. "Remove glasses"
6. Removes glasses
7. "bkshnd sdkjhf ds wehu"
8. Puts on glasses to read
9. Goto 5.

#verifyage #middleagedproblems

This is so true, and you hear it so often that you spend your life trying to "sort yourself out": trying to fix what ain't broke.

Who to forgive? How to let go of those you can't? How to forgive yourself. These are the toughest challenges of my life.

#autism #latediagnosis #adultdiagnosis

Morrissey claims Johnny Marr is singing his melodies. Marr does not sing Morrissey's melodies. Morrissey never sang melodies. He just droned arrhythmically like a sheep in a pinball machine. #smithsreunion #morriseyvsmarr #smithsrift

I've launched a petition to ban Last Christmas on the basis that it is offensive to transplant recipients. #whamageddon

Not really. But I'd been a recluse for about 4 years prior to C19. So I'm edge case data in this survey.

I'm now cowering in my porch as well, a bag of each in hand, cuz I can't remember what I put out last week, either. 🫣

#blackbagsmatter #bingate #welshstandoff

"(Sigh) Idiots", I thought as I went into the kitchen to check the leaflet. "They probably threw theirs away. Clearly somebody responsible will have to break the deadlock", I pompously mused.

Palpable tension in the street tonight as the neighbours loiter at their doorways; a green bag in one hand and pink in the other, unwilling to commit.

Sometimes you really need a lovely gig, but the circumstances don't bode well. So, you feel a bit out of sorts as you hit the stage. But then something completely unexpected and totally amazing happens and you somehow have the gig of your life. I'm a very happy and grateful boy, tonight.

www.Facebook.com/duckphaser

I've never been a physical craftsman. But setting up a comedy show with a flush, taut backdrop, the striking logo screaming top quality from its central mounting; positioning the theatrical spotlights to lock focus on the stage; mixing the sound to the perfect balance. This brings me immense joy.

Always a pleasure! South Wales's premium new material night, Ugly Ducklings runs on selected Wenzdays in Swansea. See @duckphaser on Facebook for details.

(1) on Queen’s original recording, between Freddie singing “she’s as willing as” and “playful as a pussycat”, Brian makes his guitar meow. At that moment in this, imagine the flaccid-lipped exhaling of a bored horse.

He’s hope’s vaccine, worse than Jeffrey Epstein
Dumb as a Westboro Baptist meme,
but that, you see is exactly why
He’s safe till 2029,
but as soon as it’s prison shower time
Fuck that guy.

Simple as that, he’s a horse’s ass(1),
misogynistic plutocrat
Ethically emaciated,
cognitively just a twat
The oligarchs lay back and smile
(Don't let him bullshit you)

[Wait for it! You have to sing the guitar solo to yourself, first.]

He’s a hate machine,
it’s Munchhausen’s by toxaphene
The assassination was a smoke screen,
audacious but still clandestine

To avoid prosecution he ran again for president
Electrocution would not suffice as his punishment
He’s the anthropomorphosis of the fascist psychosis
It’s a squalid nest of counter-constitutional lies
The parallel to Hitler turning doctors into murderers
Is enough to turn your blood to ice

So he can vent his spleen,
spewing sewage on your feed,
He’s social media gangrene,
democracy’s been undermined
Comparatively what they’ve done’s
put Beelzebub in the Vatican
Fuck that guy.

But they don’t see the problem yet
with collegial electorates
And now they’ve elected him twice?

They keep ignoring the shambles of a shitty government
“The news is all fake”, they cry
while false flagging the dissidents
The anarchic bureaucracy
and genuine hypocrisy
It doesn’t take a shrink to see they’re out of their minds

It's as good a way to test a post series as any. How far will you get before the tune arrives in your head? And how much further before you can name it? #mysteryparody

#postyoufromanotherera