MackJ? 🤷🏻‍♂️

Is a joke good if you need citations to make sense of it?

They had a lot of Gaul.

Honorary

No sir! I do not accept your apology for party rocking!

On a shelf near me in the postal facility sits a box with cremated remains in it. It’s odd to think that after however many years of struggle, joy, sadness, heartache, and love, they end up sitting in an office, waiting for someone to come and claim them.

Sorry you were out. Left notice.

A diagram showing a vague representation of quantum entanglement that sort of kind of doesn’t really look like boobs.

Have you considered that there may some sort of quantum entanglement between the two and that by observing one you can make certain assumptions about the position and motion of the other.

I appreciate you getting to the bottom of this.

Dave Franco

Vexatious lawsuits aren’t really about being right, just ruining the life of a person with less money than you because they can’t afford to keep up with your bullshit filings.

They’re all great walkout songs but for very different vibes

This is the farmers market he’s suing, I assume, unless he’s in a separate beef with another one.

william shakespeare: [a bunch of dumb ass crap]
roger miller: roses are red and violets are purple, sugar is sweet and so is maple surple

Corporation for Public Broadcasting, funder of NPR and PBS, says it will end operations within months after federal budget cuts The Corporation for Public Broadcasting is a nonprofit that provides funds to public radio and TV stations, including NPR and PBS.

It will take decades to unfuck things, if we ever even get the chance. www.cbsnews.com/news/corpora...

People think I have brown eyes but in fairness my eyes are 95% closed all of the time. The baby put on my glasses and did her best “Da” face which was barely smiling and squinting her eyes almost shut. Fucking roasted.

My reading of American history is that we’ve been incredibly harsh on “evil” but impossibly bad at defining it.

Tired of this modern food poisoning! It’s not like back when we were kids.

Mark no.

Nic Cage from Con Air where he feels the sweet wind of freedom on his face

Me delivering mail on a hot day when a slight breeze starts up

Ye’d best start believing in isekais where the main character gets reincarnated as a slime, yer in one!

My first concert was MC Hammer. We all have our cross to bear.

Bear lying on the floor with socks on looking like it’s the worst thing that ever happened to anyone.

That was after he got over his paralysis.

I used to have video of that. He went berserk.

He’s 15! He scampers like a pup but will yelp if you accidentally bump him from behind.

Bear the dog. An oldie but a goodie.

Bear is now so old he’s gone mostly deaf. He barks at the door when people knock a lot less now but he needs to be tracked down for walks.

Hi I’m HBO Mack! Welcome to my streaming service!

Bro and bub

Eric Addams’s campaign should just say “hey remember that time that I ran over a bunch of scooters with a steam roller? If you re-elect me I’ll crush even MORE stuff with a steam roller. Want to see me crush a birthday cake? How about a crystal vase? I’ll crush whatever you want.”

Probably should have taken that as a sign.

North was away from downtown and it had been a half hour past the normal delivery time so I called the driver who let me know that their car broke down and was being towed. The best part: I called customer service for Grubhub, the job I was literally starting that day, and they didn’t believe me.

My favorite your driver is X minutes away moment happened when I started at Grubhub. They had us order lunch through the app. My driver went to the restaurant and picked up the food then went a couple blocks away and stopped. It stayed stopped for a while and then slowly started traveling north.