dani 🍁

paddington is about a nasty little foreign bear that smuggles himself into london so he can steal all the jobs & get the kids hooked on 'marmalade' but luckily nicole kidman is on hand to turn the furry little invader into a hat or some shit i don't fucking know - english jobs for english bears ⭐⭐⭐

crazy lucky how everyone who has blocked me is mountain troll level of uggo

This past weekend, I attended the Glengarry Highland Games, and whilst my Francophone spirit was slightly confused, the quality of kilted legs, and dad bods exhibiting unreal farm boy strength, made me feel a certain way, so excuse me, I need a minute.

Oh that’s a phenomenal idea.

Watching youth play beer bong but with water in the cups.

These kids are so soft.

The greatest circus act I’ve ever seen was the Canadian goose trainer. Before I saw that I had never comprehended how much blood a human body could hold, or how you could still hear someone screaming even after logic told you they were long dead and it was your own voice you were hearing.

It can’t be helped. Not mad about it.

IT’S AUGUST, MEET ME BEHIND THE MALL!

Yeah, that guy!

This man apparently.

I’ll be seated in the corner if you need me.

It’s happened several times. It’s my drunk-tell.

Which is a a vast improvement over what Baby Dani used to get up to.

If you ever hear me say “Oh, I’m just gonna watch Hamilton on my iPad for a little bit”, know that I am the most drunk I will ever be and I will be passed out before any farmers get refuted.

You’ve captured my essence. 364 Party Girl, I take Victoria Day off, obviously.

Nothing really. BRB

I’m telling everyone about this. Her reign of terror must end.

no one: ...

my household:

WE'RE GOIN' UP, UP, UP
IT'S OUR MOMENT
YOU KNOW TOGETHER WE'RE GLOWIN'
GONNA BE, GONNA BE GOLDEN
OH, UP, UP, UP
WITH OUR VOICES
영원히 깨질 수 없는
GONNA BE, GONNA BE GOLDEN

STEAK?!?!??

😏 🧙

wet hair, don’t care

Exactly the same colours on pants and shirt.

Identical 😂

I have no idea. That’s our gumball machine quarter.

I suspected but I appreciate the confirmation

Do you know everything?!?!?!?!?

Some type of beetle maybe? Next to a quarter for size reference

What the fuck is this bug?

And also, why is this bug?

2000s Paris Hilton’s voice.

But it’s so shiny and appetizing!

i exist on a side of tiktok where a very pretty lady shows me what’s in her tiffin everyday which is to say i’m doing very well thank you

Fuck man, me too. I’m so confused.