moby clit

Show us the sourhead hat!!

I remember a time, not all that long ago, when instead of wanting to kill us our government was like, "would you like a free covid test?"

sometimes i feel insecure about the quality of my work and therefore a great deal of imposter's syndrome. but then a white man submits a report featuring a trendline with an R^2 value of 0.04. ZERO pt ZERO FOUR. #ibelong

Pink empress Mantis

"We're going to create superintelligence" How about making outlook search work first. How about that

picking my nose on my couch as if i don't have a giant window and no curtains and neighbors walking idly by

the girls are fightinggg (for their rights)

You want to be alive, but they want you dead. We’re a new, well, funded democratic group that thinks you can meet them halfway.

From the law community on Reddit: Leavitt confirms the DOJ officials have talked about banning trans people from owning guns Explore this post and more from the law community

time for a well-armed alphabet mafia
www.reddit.com/r/law/commen...

✨blocking ppl who post AI ""art"" ✨

If prayer really worked, I would have woken up to an enormous headline this morning.

I’ve started investing in stocks. Beef. Chicken and Vegetable

One day I hope to be a bouillonaire

rightfully I assume kid-haters are just horrifically unfunny people on a soul level cuz kids pop out the womb doing free stand up comedy. I’m sorry that somewhere in your upbringing you lost your divine right of jesters but that’s not their fault

I’m not entertaining any 2028 speculation until July 2027, as that will mark six months of Congress post-midterms.

We are not even 250 days into this administration and y’all are claiming that we have to settle on our fighter right now. Unserious people.

We can put a man on the moon, but can we put a lobster in a postbox? Top scientists say: "stop calling here"

It's not that hard to make friends in your 30s, you just have to be Delightful

space is too woke. science is too woke !!!

this house runs on 10 mg vyv*nse

There should be a corner at Home Depot where a guy with a table saw will slice you off custom lengths of hot dog from an infinite hot dog coming out of the wall

a poop in the pants is worth two in the butt

Un-celebrating the 4th of July by only listening to Carly Rae Jepsen today. I’ll take the summer fun without the patriotism thank YOU. All of my summer fun will be Canadian.

fuck 4th of july

st*phen m*ller belongs in a jar

It’s never too late to start a new chapter in life <3

she rangin on my crab til i goon

reading novels before bed is usually a great way for me to fall asleep until i accidentally choose horrifying historical fiction